Worldtrigger Barriers (A Shipping fanfiction)
by IWriteDreams
Summary: bar·ri·er ˈberēər/ a circumstance or obstacle that keeps people or things apart or prevents communication or progress.
1. The beginning of my end

The day it all changed started out rather innocent and commen. Yousuke was lounging in his bedroom reading a new comic book when he heard his cell go off. Grumbling, he didn't assume anything of it, but he looked anyway to see it was his best friend. Miwa. " _That's strange, Shuji rarely ever texts_ " he thought to himself as he unlocked his phone.

 _Yousuke, I NEED to see you, right now!_

Yousuke knew his friend, and knew he would never tell him this without good reason.

Yousuke was waiting for this message in fact. Miwa had been behaving more glum than usual after a certain Border meeting the previous week. Yousuke knew something was up, but also knew Miwa was far more sensitive then he let on. Yousuke never said anything and waited for Miwa to tell him in time.

So, of course, when Yousuke got the text he hit the ground running. Miwa's house was only a few blocks away, so he sprinted there as fast as he could. The impatient A-rank agent hammered on the door bell the moment his legs stood atop the front steps, and opened the door, he was genuinely concerned for Miwa, and wasn't about to wait for his more isolated friend to answer the door.

"Shuji?" Yousuke called. But there was no answer, It didn't really matter though, because Yousuke was already racing up the steps to Miwa's bedroom. He stopped abruptly outside the door and took a deep breath. " _Shuji_ _isn't helpless, and he has a lot of pride, just act casual_ " he told himself sternly. He slowly opened the door to a sight that made his heart crack.

Miwa was sitting on the edge of the bed, face in his hands. Yousuke could clearly tell Miwa had been crying for a while, and even then as Yousuke stood in the doorway, awkwardly, he could clearly make out the muffled sobs of Miwa. He had never felt so empty.

After remembering that he wasn't in some nightmare, Yousuke ran over and threw his arms around his usually straight-faced friend. Yousuke was all the more terrified when he felt Miwa trembling, as well as whimpering and sobbing.

Yousuke held him tightly, and rested his head on Miwa's shoulder for a few minutes before finally asking what was wrong.

Miwa's breaths came as raspy and shallow as he handed Yosuke his unlocked phone. Yousuke quickly looked at the cell that was open to a message from Border HQ.

" _Our engineers here at Border have finally done it! We have developed technology to protect planet Earth PERMANENTLY from neighbors! We will have a meeting on monday at 12 to discuss details_."

Yousuke looked at it in shock. "No more neighbors? Like, ever?" he thought in shock. He stood there frozen, one arm still wrapped around his sobbing friend. "But, Shuji, THIS IS GREAT NEWS!"

Miwa stiffened. "Great news? GREAT NEWS? Yosuke, it's over, Border is over. There is NO NEED for it anymore! I just-" he broke off as a new bout of tears claimed him, hugging Yousuke tightly around his waist.

Yousuke stood there shocked until he felt numb. "No more Border..."  
Miwa was crying even harder than before. Yousuke leaned down and whispered "it's gonna be ok... We don't have all the details yet, I'm sure it will be fine..."

"NO IT WON'T!"

"WHAT WILL I DO? I CANNOT AVENGE MY SISTER LIKE THIS!" tears we just gushing down Miwa's red cheeks. "I don't know what i'll do... Te-ell me Yousuke, who am i gon-nna be after this?" he choked out, looking like a miserable child. Small quakes ran up him and Yousuke had never felt more useless.

"You will be Shuji Miwa my best friend." Yousuke told him, trying to help. He was furious that Miwa had to spell out was was wrong to him. He should have figured that out and spared him the trouble and pain. To Yousuke, this was unheard of, but he wasn't thinking about himself, oh no. He was focused on Miwa. This was a side of him he had never seen before. Rather then straight-faced and serious he was fragile, terrified and crying. "No it's not!" Miwa cried. "Who will I be outside of Border?"

Yousuke couldn't control himself anymore. He couldn't bear see Miwa hurt so badly. He leaned down and held Miwa's head through his soft, midnight hair.

Gently, he pressed his lips to Miwa's.

Miwa jumped a little bit and Yousuke tore away, immediately regretting what he had done.

Yousuke was turning a vibrant shade of red, and Miwa's crying had ceased at they both vainly tried to grasp what Yousuke had just done. There was a moment of silence before Yousuke finally got a grip of reality.

Yousuke began to back up slowly. Then increased his pace until his back hit the wall. He fell to the floor and kept his eyes on Miwa.

 _Why did I let that slip?_

The room was silent, as tears still quietly rolled down Miwas face Yousuke's vision became full of water.  
Miwa knew.

Miwa now knew how Yousuke had been feeling about him. Yousuke was giving up. He closed his eyes and water spilled out. "I'm... I'm-I'm sorry Shuji. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to- I know you- I know I just-" he hit his limit.

"I LIKE YOU SHUJI, I LIKE YOU, LOTS! OK? I REAlly do... I'm sorry." He hid his head behind his knees and shut his eyes. It was silent for a moment more. Yousuke suddenly felt himself being lifted up. Miwa picked Yousuke up princess style and carried him over to the edge of the bed. Yosuke, still tearing up looked at Miwa. Yosuke was now sitting on the edge of the bed, tears running down his face at a steady rate, selfishly admiring Miwa's beautiful face, now full of sorrow and worry.

Miwa suddenly stopped thinking and let his desire get the best of him.

He pushed his lips into Yousuke's to stop Yousuke from crying anymore.

Miwa had to try, Yousuke always had to be happy, and Miwa always had to be reserved. Too Miwa, that's what he depended on. He depended on Yousuke and his joyful attitude.

Miwa reached his hands around to grab the sides of Yousuke's face, Miwa deeped the kiss as much as he could, his ardor was unbearable, and he felt  
Yousuke stiffen with shock.

 _What?_

Miwa relished there for as long as he could, finally having given in to the feelings he was so ashamed about. Eventually, Miwa pulled away, and looked Yousuke in the eye for a brief moment. Then Miwa too, got a grip on reality, burst into tears and threw himself on top of Yosuke. And the two of them fell back onto the bed.

Miwa's arms clutching onto Yousuke for dear life, and Yousuke was speechless. They found themselves on their sides, turned to one another. Where Miwa eventually was curled up into a vulnerable ball, snuggling into Yousuke's chest, Grabbing at the front of Yousuke's shirt Miwa cried into his friends collarbone.

Yousuke brought up his knees a put his arms around Miwa. Miwa was still shaking, but Yousuke was holding him as tightly as he could.

The room was filled with Miwa's sobs with grew more and more quiet as time went on. Yousuke just held on as tightly as he could, caught up in this moment that he had been dreaming of. To anyone else, Shuji Miwa would be unrecognizable now. Vulnerable, whimpering, and for once, leaning and depending on somebody else. But to Yousuke, this was the side that was bound to be in there.

Yousuke knew how hard things were for Miwa. How Miwa was sensitive, and always cared about what others were saying about him. Yousuke knew how Miwa was always thinking he wasn't good enough, and Yousuke knew Miwa was far from perfect. But even to Yousuke, this was new. Yousuke was always ready to help in any way he could, but even though he knew this side of Miwa was bound to be in there, he had never seen it.

Yousuke was ready to sit there and explore this new side of Miwa.

He was not ready for how much it hurt him to see Miwa like this.

Yousuke eventually reached up and began to slowly run his fingers down the back of Miwa's head, feeling his soft hair helped Yousuke relax.

"Ssshhhhhh... It's gonna be ok..." Yousuke told Miwa quietly.  
"We don't know all the details, I'm sure Border will still be here..."

Miwa's trembling was slowly fading.

"I promise you, now that we're together, everything will be just fine."


	2. Dreamers

Konami slouched in her chair as Shinoda explained the alarming text notification they had received two days prior.

"The notification you received was a little _misleading_ , i'm afraid." Shinoda told the room of senior officers, managers, and A-Ranks.

 _Misleading_? Konami wondered.

"Yes, Border will still be here after this, but with a different purpose. The technology we have created will need to be set up on an away mission. We have already selected members, the list will be outside, but more on that later." Shinoda informed them.

"This force field will only be capable of repelling the mass production trion soldiers." Shinoda said.

"We're afraid that after some research, we discovered that there is no permanent way of getting rid of all neighbors." out of the corner of her eye Konami saw Miwa and Yousuke from the Miwa squad, relax a little bit. And though she didn't see it, Miwa grabbed Yousuke's hand.

"This technology should prevent all Bamasters And Illagers from coming to earth for the next 20 years. And hopefully, most Marmods should be unable to get here. However, there is always risk, and Border agents need to be on duty to prevent the odd Marmod from damage to the civilians, and the expected uncommon neighbor, like the  
spider-like ones from Tamga tower." Konami slouched down even more in her seat.

"This meeting has to be over soon!"  
she thought to herself.

"Please check the board in the lobby for the full list if who will participate in the away mission to activate this technology, these agents must attend a meeting tomorrow at 10 am. Your dissmissed, and have a good day!"

Konami stretched upwards. Those chairs where really uncomfortable. Then filed out the door with everyone else, " _I better go check out the board_ " Konami thought, knowing Tamakoma branch members are almost almost always chosen to go on away missions.

"Hey, Konami?" A Familiar voice stopped her. Konami turned and blinked. "Oh, hey Kyousuke! What do you need?" Kyousuke stood in front of her, looking, to Konami, the most beautiful sight on the planet. _Not that he would get to know it or anything..._

Kyouske rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. "Well, I kinda spaced out on the whole meeting, would you mind summarizing it? I promise this isn't a joke."

Konami sighed and shook her head "Irregular neighbors are still here, with the odd Marmod. Border will still be here, just less vigorous. And we have to go see if were assigned for an away mission, any questions?"  
Konami briefly abbreviated. Kyousuke blinked. "Nope, thanks"

Konami shook her head. " _That man takes everything to lightly..._ " Konami frowned as she followed him to the large screen in the main entrance.

 _Shuji Miwa,_  
 _Yosuke Yoneya,_  
 _Shohei Kodera,_  
 _Osamu Mikumo,_  
 _Chika Amatori,_  
 _Yuma Kuga,_  
 _Shiori Usami,_  
 _Yuchi Jin,_  
 _Kei Tachikawa,_  
 _Soya Kazama,_  
 _Shiro Kitchikura,_  
 _Ai Kitora,_  
 _Kirie Konami,_  
 _Kyousuke Karusama._

Konami wasn't at all surprised to see her name plastered up in big, bold lettering. Tamakoma Branch agents are usually the first chosen to go on away missions. She was surprised, however, when Kyousuke's arm pat her on the back.

"Well, guess I'll be looking forward to a week of so on a cramped airship with you." he smirked, with a note of subtle sarcasm. "I have to go, I trust that I'll see you later at Tamakoma?"

Konami fumbled, "Umm... Yeah! That should be about right" she forced out with a weak smile. "Cool." Kyouske half heartedly waved with one hand as he turned his back and walked away, unintentionally leaving Konami a hot mess.

Much later, Konami finally walked in the doors of the Tamakoma branch. The Away mission was leaving in just 3 days, so Konami had to wave her carefully planned scedual goodbye. She wanted to pack as soon as possible, so she could reschedule everything all over again.

"Duty calls..." she pouted, mourning all of that lost training time. "At least I get to go on the final away mission..." Konami didn't know how to feel about that. The technology would keep out small, or weak neighbors, but that also prevented them from getting out to further explore the neighborhood. "All we have left now are Yuma's records..."

 _Whatever_... She rolled her eyes as she made her way to her room. " _Kyousuke and I will just have to do it_ ". She shook her head, as she rephrased her misleading thoughts. " _Deal with it. We will deal with it... Not "DO" it._ "

Her dirty mind disgusting her, she turned into the hallway and squeaked, startled. Looking up slowly at the very man with the most impeccable timing ever.

"Hey Konami..." Kyousuke, who had been leaning up against his door stood up. Konami blushed.

 _such a pathetic squeak in Kyousuke presence? Really Konami?_

"H-hey Kyousuke... I didn't see you there..." Konami fumbled. Kyousuke obviously knew this, but he simply shrugged.

And silence set in.

Konami's face got even more pink. She just didn't know how to carry herself around him. She wanted to leave, and to forget about this awkward silence that made her so uncomfortable. But before her hand could grip her doorknob, Kyousuke finally spoke. "Um... Konami? Can I tell you something?" Konami froze.

 _Wait_...

For a moment her mind reeled to the most optimistic conclusion, like any dreamer would. Konami pictured it then and there. but then, after a moment of blissful wonder, she resumed life in reality. It probably wasn't anything important, but she got her gullible hopes up anyway. "Yeah! O- _ok_!"

Kyousuke froze. He hadn't thought this though.

Kyousuke didn't know whether to smile or frown, _what was he expecting? Why did he say that without thinking this through? He had his answer, now what? What should he say?_

Kyousuke's mind just tensed up.

He didn't know how long be was there for, trying to grasp sanity, but it probably was quite a while.

"Kyousuke?" He jumped. "Oh! Sorry... I'll just... Um... _Tell you later_?" Konami's heart dropped.

"Oh... Ok then..." She muttered the finally retreated into her room.

She quietly closed the door behind her and she leaned up against it, and sank to the floor.

"What in the high heavens was that?" she almost said a little too loud. But instead she just buried her face in her knees, and wondered why any of this was happening.

...

Kyousuke stood there, mouth pretty agape for a minute, before it finally occurred to him that maybe he should get out of their hallway before anyone saw him looking like a fish without water.

He slid in the door, a lie down on his bed. _What was he to do now? What should he say?_

...

And in the same frame if time, Konami and Kyousuke thought about those silences that spang between them. To both, it seemed to mean that no matter how much they cared for the other, life needed to warn them that they would never happen. That they simply didn't work.  
...

A Few hours later, Kyousuke needed to get out. He had been doing homework, and simply lost track of time. Although, his focus seemed rather inconsistent at the moment, even if he denied it, Kyousuke was a dreamer.

Finally putting down his pencil, Kyousuke headed for the deck on the outside of the second floor.  
The sun had set a little while back,  
So, he gratefully closed the door behind him, and walked out into a wondrous night.

" _I really should get out here more often_ " he scolded himself at the sight of such an amazing lightshow.

It really was breathtaking. Black was infinite, then tangled up in the light from the stars. He couldn't help but bursting into a grin a mile wide, caught up in the wonder and curiosity of the sight. He sat there in awe like a small child, and for a moment, he was. For a wondrous moment he felt like a child learning for the fist time how big the world really was. Or maybe, he was just a dreamer. He hardly noticed the freezing temperatures as the night invited him to think and dream about everything and anything else.

And he did.

But mostly, he thought of his dear friend. _Konami_. Her name was like music to his ears. Sometimes he got frightened by how much he cared for her, but it couldn't be stopped.

He truly was in love with her.

And there was no escape. However, recently she had _really_ been on his mind, almost all the time. Now, at almost any time, he was daydreaming about her, of wondering what he would do if she was there. He knew that the longer he waited to say it, the worse it would be. He had to say it. He had to. Soon. The sooner, the better. It wouldn't stay hidden for long, he knew.

" _The next time I see her, i'll tell her. No matter where or when that is_." he promised to himself, in the night.

Sometimes he wondered who the gullible one was.

"Hey, Karusama, are you doing ok? It's freezing out here" Konami modestly stepped outside, having heard Kyousuke leave his room.

A chill ran down his spine, half from the cold that Konami reminded him of, half because he never broke is promises. " _Konami..._ " Kyousuke turned, to see Konami looking up at him with sparkling eyes. She wore a new baggy pink sweater and a long white scarf. Kyousuke's hands trembled. "Um... Yeah, I just, Konami..." he muttered rather quietly,

 _Did he seriously just promise that?_  
 _He really was a naive dreamer..._

There was a very long pause. Well, maybe it wasn't that long, Kyousuke would never know. "You know I had that something to tell to you?" his voice was getting rather soft, he was so scared. But it still seemed to slice open the silent night. "Yeah... Um... Why? Is there something on your mind?" Konami asked, offering support. _"Something on my mind? Yeah, ... You..."_ Kyousuke thought, a bit bitterly. "I'll totally listen if you need me too." Konami offered again. She had no idea what to say, she just didn't know anything around Kyousuke, having him around just made her forget everything in favor of admiring him. Kyousuke clearly didn't sign up for this.

"O-ok, well Konami it's just that-" _no, that sounds stupid..._ "What I'm gonna say isn't a joke" he said finally, after some careful consideration.

"Ok...?" Konami forced out. Trying not to set herself up for disappointment.

Then it all came spilling out.

"I can't take this. Konami, I like you, I really, really do, I have for years! And I know that just saying this is going to screw up a lot of our trust and such, but I just had to tell you! Konami I love you, and I am telling you this so I can get over you, because no matter how you look at it, it's not going to work, being together could affect Border, our skills, or fights, I know! I know, I just need to tell you so I could get over you, because even if you did like me in the same way I do, because Konami..." Kyousuke caught his breath, ready to go on when finally risked a glance at Konami's face.

Konami was dumbfounded.

Kyousuke's automatic reaction was to get her trust again.

"I'm going to get over you, promise!"

Kyousuke panicked.

"I'm gonna...  
I'll...  
Oh..."

His eyes clenched shut.

"I really messed up Konami, I really screwed this all up... I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

" _I'm sorry..._ "  
...

In that moment, their worlds fell apart.  
...

"How could you..." Konami breathed.

"How?"

Kyousuke felt stung, of course Konami's reaction was rejection, what did he expect?

Konami's face went bright red.

" _What do you mean, we don't work_?"

" _What do I mean_?" Kyousuke started. Surely he had misheard, "What?" Kyousuke forced out.

"YOU JERK!"

Konami jumped into Kyousuke's unsuspecting arms. "How could you possibly be so selfish? Come on Kyousuke... If you love me then who cares what they think? Who cares if Border work is different? If you love me, we can do it!"

Kyousuke couldn't process this. " _We_?"

After a brief moment of hesitation Konami buried her face in his shoulder. "Do I have to spell it out to you?" she she said, her tone showing annoyance, maybe stubborn anger.

Then, in a rush of confidence and love, Konami stole herself and brought Kyousuke's lips to hers.

Kyousuke's lips where a little more rough then what she had expected, but she loved them anyway.

She didn't care anymore. Kyousuke liked her in the same way she did him.

That was all she needed, and she loved it. She loved him.

" _I love you too_."

 _This was a dream_ , Kyousuke surely thought. _This isn't happening._ Kyousuke's heart was in his throat and he felt light-headed and dizzy.

Eventually, he gripped tightly around Konami's waist, and convinced himself that no matter what, they would be fine.

Tears of happiness bubbled up to the brim of his eyes, but didn't drop.

 _Konami was finally his._

Nether of them knew how long they where they for, nor did they care. Several minutes, at anyone's best guess. They simply didn't want to let go. The night, to perfect, the other, to beautiful. Eventually, Konami suggested that they go back inside, and Kyousuke was still too shocked to argue. Konami walked Kyousuke back to his room, and when she bid him a good night, Kyousuke finally had something to say.

"Wait,"

Konami turned. "Yes?"  
Kyousuke grinned something evil.  
"Why don't you spend the night, here with me?" Konami blinked. "There's room for two"

"Alright" Konami uttered. And in the same bed, they didn't dream, because they knew that no dream would beat this reality.


	3. Hanging in the balance

Kikuchihara cast his ears as far as the would go, but as all the sounds of the city overcame him, he didn't hear the one person he wanted to hear the most. Kikuchihara didn't want to think to hard about what exactly he was doing, he didn't want to think at all. That would ruin the whole thing.

He walked down a few more blocks slowly, his sweater doing very little to block out the cold rush of wind that hit him head on. _The city was loud, and bustling_ Kikuchihara noted as the noise radiated through his head.

He still didn't hear Kazama.

Finally, Kikuchihara couldn't avoid the thoughts.

" _What am I doing?_ "

" _Really, I shouldn't be doing this, why am I? Kazama is out on a date, i'm just a little jealous and I-_ " Kikuchihara shook his head. " _No. No i'm NOT jealous, I just wanted to check up on him, or see him from across the street, just to make sure he's doing ok..._ " Kikuchihara stopped. " _No, that's a lie. And I know it. No amount of wishful deniability is going to change the fact that I've fallen him... Hard..._ " Kikuchihara scowled and kicked a pebble that had rest on the sidewalk very far. " _Shoot. This is hopeless..._ " he mumbled to himself and he resumed walking. He finally contained his hearing and the city noises faded out. He tried to block out the world as he finally gave up.

" _I'm hopeless..._ "

Suddenly, the world seemed rather sad and dark. Cold, too. Kikuchihara hated himself for having feelings for his leader, he knew there was practically NO chance of Kazama even remotely liking him that way. Now that Kikuchihara thought about it, it was impossible. Why did he have to care if Kazama never would? It just didn't seem fair. Kikuchihara tried time and time again to beat down those feelings, but for some reason, he just couldn't give up on them. After being a pessimist for a couple of minutes, Kikuchihara decided that maybe he should find out where he was. He had been lost in his head for a while, aimlessly walking through the lively city. Fully aware this time, Kikuchihara guilt fully extended his hearing to its maximum, looking one last time for Kazama.

" _I'm just curious..._ "

He didn't search for long, then decided that it shouldn't he heard something that caught his automatic attention. He directed his audible scope to the block daigle to him, and found where it was coming from.

There was a taller man with a average height woman. The man was wearing a shabby looking T-shirt and a pair of jeans, he had dark hair that was wavy, and kicked out over the back of his neck. He was holding the other woman, and Kikuchihara almost tuned out again, but something kept him listing. The woman was hard to make out, many people were passing by blocking his view, and she had her back turned to him. Suddenly, before he could even make her out, he got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he felt like she was oddly familiar, in a very bad way. His mind finally off his leader, he reached out his hearing to it's maximum, and listened in on the conversation.

"I just don't understand, why would you do that?" the man was questioning, though, he didn't sound that mad. "Oh, come on! it was fun!" The woman said, in tone that reminded Kikuchihara of a cat.

Finally, Kikuchihara placed her voice, and looked at the scene in a different way.

 _Kazama's girlfriend._

Kikuchihara set off at a dean run, now having found a reason to see the team's leader. An awful reason. _Did Kazama know? What would he do? If he did know, where would he be? What if he didn't?_ Kikuchihara's hearing was fully extended as he sped down the block, attempting to cover as much ground as possible. Eventually, he slowed down and tried to think clearly. " _Kazama was on a date with her, so he must know, right? And it was in this area, so he shouldn't have gotten-"_

Something echoed.

Kikuchihara skidded to a halt as he heard it again. A large group was walking in front of an alleyway, their footsteps drowning out most noise in that direction, but the echoes were hitting something Kikuchihara couldn't see. " _what is that?_ " he wondered as he jaywalked across the street towards it.

The group passed, and Kikuchihara heard something else this time coming from the alleyway. Something he really didn't want to hear. _Crying_.

Kikuchihara then realised that Kazama had his trigger on him, and if he didn't want to be seen he would have activated Chameleon.

Finally slowing, Kikuchihara stood at the entrance of the cavernous, dark nook. He quickly retracted his hearing, because he could now hear Kazama loud and clear from where he was standing. Not daring to do anything to drastic or startling, he simply called out the name of his leader. "Kazama?"

The name echoed between the brick walls over and over, and sweetly resounded in Kikuchihara's head as well. "Kazama?" Kikuchihara repeated again even quieter, to match the relieved sound waves.

Only a small sniffle came as a reply.

Kikuchihara lowered down by the wall, and slowly reached out, holding his breath, until his hand finally came into contact with his leader's shoulder. _His hearing never lied to him_. The illusion of his invisibly broken, Kikuchihara saw his partner, his leader, his love, Kazama curled up, silently trembling and breaking down. All alone. For a moment, Kikuchihara noted that this was the first time he had ever seen Kazama cry. It simply wasn't an action you would link to the hardened, short and respectable leader that he was. Kikuchihara wondered if this was always what happened when he was sad, _crying all alone_ , because someone would think less of you if they saw you doing it. Maybe Kazama was afraid that if he showed this, he'd go soft.

Kazama hid his head behind his knees, still crying, one of his most hated things. _Looking weak, or being weak in front of others_. Eventually looked up to see who it was, and seemed very surprised to see Kikuchihara standing before him. Kikuchihara was surprised too, but for all the wrong reasons as he stared down at his red-eyed teammate, his heart aching. He wrapped his arms around his love with no hesitation. Kazama would have jumped if so much else hadn't been on his mind. Or maybe he was just lucky. Kazama was still caught off guard as the young boy took him into his arms. Kazama still hadn't said anything, and he wondered why the scene unfolded in silence, if one of them had incredible hearing. Kikuchihara's embrace was warm and firm, the kind Kazama always got lost in. He felt the tears streaking down his face, leaving a cool, wet trail behind them.

When Kazama tried to say something at last, Kikuchihara murmured a  
soft-hearted "I know, I know, you don't have to say a word" Kikuchihara's grip tightened, and he pulled Kazama even deeper into his arms. Feeling welcomed, Kazama closed his eyes and reached his arms around the _listener's_ waist, and hung on. Kikuchihara wasn't prepared for that. He was prepared for Kazama to push him away, claiming that he was "fine", not for him to welcome his gesture of care. Dumbfounded, Kikuchihara felt even worse now, secure grasp on his loved one or not. Kazama must be absolutely torn apart to do that. The teen felt his voice catch and tangle up in his throat. Maybe he was too caring, or over protective, or maybe too sympathetic. Either way, he felt like his world had fallen apart, right along with Kazama's.

Kazama couldn't stop it, he tried, oh, he tried, but no matter how hard he wished, he was still sobbing after what must have been 5 minutes in Kikuchihara's arms. His arms still gripping back, the red eyed boy clung to the only person that could possibly get through to him at that moment. " _Kikuchihara deserves better then me..."_ Kazma thought without question _"I'm honestly just a burden."_ However, he felt as if he never wanted to let go, the brunette's arms were too welcoming, and the boy himself was too kind. Kazama wondered why his partner would even bother with him like this, he knew Kikuchihara hated weaklings, and now that's probably what he thought of Kazama. Though, Kazama accepted the comfort anyway. Still sniffling a bit, Kikuchihara took his leader by the back of his head, and brought Kazama into the crook of his neck, to both of their surprise.

Swept up by the moment, or maybe just not thinking, he began running his fingers through Kazama's hair. It was soft, and ruffled up, at the gesture however, it almost automatically went silent. Nothing moved other than Kazama's trembling self, Kikuchihara's hand, _and a single blackbird that flew over head, in a crooked manner_. Kazama's breath finally got more and more stable as he was practically surrounded by Kikuchihara, and he hoped that the tears now dampening Kikuchihara's shoulder where the last. He retreated his arms away for Kikuchihara's waistline, and let himself reach for Kikuchihara's neck instead. The teen's eyes widened as Kazama gripped him higher up, and he felt his face grow warm. "No! No, it's just a sign of friendship, nothing more" Kikuchihara scolded himself, but he still couldn't help but get his hopes up even higher. Kazama reluctantly removed the arms he had draped over his friend, and Kikuchihara removed his after a few more moments.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"What was happening, and where to find me? How did you know what-"  
Kazama's voice caught, and his breath hitched again, and Kikuchihara's hands flashed out to hold Kazama at his shoulders as a reflex. "... What happened..." Kazama finished, sadly.

Well. Of course Kazma just started by asking all the hard questions.

" _Then again, he deserves to know... Just, i don't know, make it sound less creepy..._ " Kikuchihara thought.

"Well... Uh... I guess I was out and about, when I saw your Girlfriend with someone else... Then I came looking for you... Or something..." My god, he felt stupid. What would Kazama make of that? He was afraid of the response that was to come, so to try prevent it from being too awkward, he released Kazama from his grasp.

It suddenly felt cold outside without Kazama's body pressed against his. Kazama, still wiping away tears, then gazed bashfully at his partner, and all that came out of him was an almost inaudible

"Thank you."

It was a wonder Kikuchihara heard it, good ears or not, because Kazama had a very hard time saying these things. More often than not, Kazama tried to avoid the need to say something of that manner entirely. The raven haired attacker looked down at his feet shyly. Kikuchihara matched his bashful and humble expression by quietly nodding, closing his eyes and telling Kazama "Yeah, don't mention it..." the brunette briefly prayed that his cheeks weren't as red as they felt. They were practically on fire. Kazama couldn't keep that small voice in his head IN his head any longer. "Kikuchihara, I was wondering..." Kazama self-consciously began. "Yes?" "well-l..." Kazama stammered.

Kazama threw his arms right back around Kikuchihara and brought him in, rewarding him with an adorable little * _squeak_ * from behalf of the younger boy.

"Really, I want to thank you."  
" _What?_ "  
"Thank you so much."

Silence.

And then, "But, what did I do?" Kazama tightened his grasp on the younger boy.

"Where would I be right now if you hadn't shown up? And no, not just today, but in general. Where would I stand in Border? Who would have taken your place? Probably someone who isn't as talented. Or nice..."

For some unexplained reason, Kazama had been thinking more and more about Kikuchihara, and what he had done from them. Kazama just couldn't get it out of his mind. Kikuchihara appeared to be flawless. _Well, maybe he was arrogant, rude and prideful, But he wasn't one to talk..._

"If I hadn't shown up?" The brunette considered out loud.

"I'll tell you, _but, uh_ , don't ever repeat this, ok?" Kikuchihara muttered, slightly embarrassed. "Ok..." Kikuchihara shuffled his feet. "Well, I probably would have gone crazy, or I would be the most introverted person you would ever know. I mean," his face grew even more warm as he admitted "you're my only friends..."

"What?" The thought had never crossed Kazama's mind. Kikuchihara was foul, rude, aggressive, and possibly intimidating, but his friends were the most important things in the world to him, so maybe Kazama had just always thought that he made friends easily.

Evidently, he didn't.

Kazama was about to ask _why he didn't know this 'till now_ , but KIkuchihara silenced him as he grabbed back around his leaders waist, making his heart feel light and airy. "Honesty Kazma, you worry too much. I am here for you, and i'm not the one we should be worried about here." Kazama nodded, letting himself be taken care of by someone else for once. _It felt odd, having somebody else help you like this..._ Kazma reflected. _Or Maybe i'm just not used to it..._ To Kikuchihara's delight, Kazama didn't want to let go, using this as an excuse to himself, Kikuchihara held Kazama close to his heart, and honed in on the sound of the others.

Fast.

Was Kazama excited? Why? The teen didn't have a clue. He mentally slapped himself. _Idiot! Don't get your hopes up over something that is hopeless!_ But he couldn't help it. It was too easy to do, with someone like Kazama.

Kikuchihara didn't know how much time had passed, but it _had least_ been 20 minutes of simply holding Kazama. Then again, he couldn't be 100% sure, since the only outside noise he heard was _the screech a lonesome bird._ Eventually, Kikuchihara remembered that Kazama had defense duty.

"Hey Kazama?"

"Hmm?" The red eyed leader softly groaned in response.

"How about I take over for you on defense duty today, alright?" Kazama finally let go, Kikuchihara's arms still wrapped around his neck as he retreated back. "No Kikuchihara, thanks to you I should be fine, you don't have to..." The brunette shot him a glance. "Consider it off your schedule" He forcefully insisted. Kazama let him be stubborn just this once, grateful that Kikuchihara had found him.

"Thanks for this again..." Kazama worried that he might be sounding like a broken record at this point, but it had to be said. Never before had the two been so close, to Kikuchihara, it was rather exciting.

"Yeah, don't mention it... Well, I better head to the base now then, do you need anything else?" Kikuchihara's humbleness took him by surprise, and Kazama. The leader shook his head. "Nope, I should be alright. Though, seriously, where would I be without you?" Kazama mumbled, shaking his head. "Somewhere a lot less pleasant." The other boy responded, trying to get back in touch with his usual cocky self. "Yeah, I suppose..."

"Once i'm done I'll come find you, ok?" Kazama sighed "Kikuchihara, I can-" the look the younger boy was shooting at him silenced the smaller one. "Fine. Just to check in, if it really makes you feel better." Kazama huffed, sounding annoyed. "Knowing that my captain is doing alright physically and mentally after such a crappy day would make me feel better. See you soon" Kikuchihara waved as he walked off. His crush probably needed some space anyway, so did he, to tell the truth. Kikuchihara walked away feeling light headed, and shamefully noted that he had fallen even deeper in love with Kazama. For the first time, Kikuchihara could see that he too, was as human as him.

On the way back to headquarters however, he didn't seem to get much space. Or alone time. His thoughts were plagued by Kazama, and his imagination took him away. To the adorable places that made him blush into his sweater, and to places that he'd rather not say out loud. It became apparent to him that his secret would not hold for much longer, to his despair.

Only one thing would pull him out of his thoughts of shame and love.

 _A small blackbird._

It's pathetic crow sounds like a small whimper, or a cry for help. It's Wing looked burned and crooked, and his foot was caught under a rock.

" _Well this birds' had a bad day..._ "

Checking to see if anyone was around, Kikuchihara kneeled down beside the bird, and removed the rock off it's trapped leg. The bird stopped whining as the teen helped it stand up, and inspected it's wing. It was dislocated. The bird however, had a mind of it's own, and once it could move again, it thought it was fine. Leaving an almost grateful nuzzle of sorts to Kikuchihara's hand, it refused help, and skipped away on it's still bad leg. Kikuchihara couldn't reach it. The bird refused help, and probably never had been offered it anyway. To Kikuchihara though, the bird seemed really sad hobbling off.

 _The sky seemed so out of reach._  
...

Kazama lay beneath the tree, legs outstretched, pressing his back to the rough bark, closing his eyes, attempting to relax. He was glad that his day wasn't ruined, and he had his chance to stand back on his feet. Having a friend like Kikuchihara, really was a blessing. Thinking of him made him feel even calmer as the bottom of the sun tapped the hills in the distance before brushing lower in the sky. Today would soon be in the past.

"Hey"

Kazama started out of his thoughts. "When did you get here?" he hadn't even decided whether that should have stayed in his head or not, by the time he blurted it out. So much for staying cool.

"Just now, obviously." the younger boy smarted, looking down at the _raven_ haired boy. "Just checking in to make sure you doing ok, I didn't mean to startle you."

 _Why was Kikuchihara being polite?_

"Yeah, i'm doing alright, Thanks too you." Kazama mumbled, causing the other's cheeks to go slightly pink. The small attacker turned his gaze back to the sunset. The Sun's lower areas where slowly being dipped into the earth on a backdrop of gold.

Kikuchihara shifted his weight, knowing what was to come.

"Good to hear... Kazama, can I show you something?" the long haired boy probed. Not removing his gaze from the sky, now turning a wonderful spectrum of pinks, Kazama shrugged. "Yeah, alright, shoot" " _here we go..._ " "Alright, one second..." Kikuchihara swiftly darted behind a huge patch of trees, out of sight. And then faded from sight, wondering if his immense blush would show through.

...

What was he even doing?

Every step was one closer to failure. Kikuchihara knew that. Failure was inevitable. In position now, he took a moment to realize this the last opportunity to turn back. The thought was one he didn't even consider. He didn't want to. Convincing himself he deserved this, at least once, he made his move.

...

Kazama first felt something brush his cheek, and he dismissed it as the something more firm rest on the side of his face, something soft. Suddenly, something was pressed against his lips. This time he wasn't as lucky, he jolted as the hands grabbed at the back of his head, Pulling him in. after a moment of shock, Kazama reached out and broke the illusion, and his heart skipped a beat.

Kikuchihara leaned over him, head in his hands, his lips connecting with Kazama's. It was soft hearted, pleasant, and possibly a tad rushed. It was enough. Kikuchihara broke away, breathless, suddenly wishing he had considered turning back. It was a quick kiss, more of a peck really, but it was enough. Kikuchihara face couldn't have gotten more red. Kazama's face was one of absolute Bewilderment. Never losing his smarting attitude, Kikuchihara eventually smirked and mumbled a "Glad to see your doing alright"

Kazama was jerked out of his temporary daze, and he stole himself to do something he had only dreamed of for a long time. Both of them still out of air, Kazama reached for Kikuchihara's neck, and pulled him back in. Their lips connected, and Kazama truly relaxed into this. Why he ever considered being together with someone else was now a mystery to him. Kikuchihara's lips fit perfectly with his, as did Kikuchihara's hands. deepening the moment, Kikuchihara grabbed at Kazama's waist, and pulled him in.

Simply staying connected was enough to get Kikuchihara excited, but it somehow got even better as Kazama tested his Bounds by briefly swiping his tongue over the teens mouth. He gasped and finally pulled away, it was to good to be true, but it was. Kazama pulled Kikuchihara forward, until he was on top of him. Taking a moment to continue processing the scene before him, Kazama hesitated before pulling his crush down into his arms. before turning him over to playfully roll him down the hill, Kikuchihara didn't let go however, and the two of them tumbled down like children, hand in hand carefree.

...

Kikuchihara walked home alone. He was positive he was still red faced, even after a few hours, but it really didn't bother him all that much at that time.

 _Kazama loves me..._

He couldn't quite get that though his head then. _He is mine..._

For once in his lifetime, he could block out the rest of the world's outside noises with ease. How strange.

 _A small blackbird._

Kikuchihara froze. The bird look sad, depressed even. It held out it's broken little wing to Kikuchihara, as if begging for his kindness once more. It looked like it was done pretending it was alright. coming to terms with reality. Not bothering to look around, Kikuchihara keeled down by the bird and quietly whispered in his ear, "Shh... this won't hurt for long... I hope..." Kikuchihara pressed down on the wing hard and released it after he heard a crack, pop, and a crow. The bird was still in pain, but looked satisfied that it was over. Squawking once to Kikuchihara, he finally flew free, and Kikuchihara walked home, feeling like the happiest man alive.

...

It was a cold morning in the outdoor central plaza of Border. An early one to boot, as the squads for the final away mission were in place. Director Kido was discussing something with Usami, _trator,_ Kikuchihara scowled. Then he picked up on something interesting. For once he redirected his gaze faster then his ears to the Miwa squad, noting that Narusaka wasn't going, where he saw Miwa and Yoneya standing awfully close, whispering. Having a side effect like his, Kikuchihara was a nosey person, and decided to listen in on their conversation.

" _Look, you're gonna do fine Shuji, I promise, and I'm here with you now..._ " Yoneya was whispering in an uncharacteristically soft tone. " _I'm not leaving you behind for anything, ok?_ " Miwa looked down. " _Yeah, alright. Thanks Yosuke..._ " Kikuchihara wasn't really one to hang out with them, but something struck him as odd when he saw Miwa reach for Yoneya's hand.

Not quite understanding, and deciding that he had been nosey enough, Kikuchihara tuned out of the conversation as abruptly as he joined it. Not a moment passed before one last thing caught his attention.

Konami was giggling. "what?" she laughed. "Aww... Kyousuke, your too cute!" Kikuchihara blinked, _since when did Konami use his real name?_ "It's not cute, I just, don't want anyone to really know..." he mumbled.

Commander Kido stood up, and the squad immediately feel silent. Not that it mattered, because Kikuchihara had heard enough of their conversation to know what was up.

"Everyone," Commander Kido's voice boomed, commanding everyone's attention.

"Welcome to the final away mission."


	4. (UN)Reliable (IN)Sanity

He was confused. His future's, so unclear. Did he? Or did he not? Subconsciously, Jin struggled with that question. But of course he didn't. He would never have the courage too. The rest of his mind disagreed. And when he woke up, he knew he didn't, but wished he did. If he did, it would be over. A part of him right then, flung itself into denial. He did. That part of him stubbornly clung onto it's new fantasy. The wrong part of him. Any other part of his subconscious, and it still would have been reliable. But he wasn't. It. It was now unreliable.

Jin felt lost, and wondered why he felt his brain was on hyperdrive, yet, so empty at the same time. He followed the two boys down the sidewalk to the base. once again, without realizing it, being troubled by the possibilities that weren't actually there.  
...

"What is it like to have a future seeing side effect anyway?"

The corridors of headquarters were otherwise empty as the two of them walked side by side, but the presence of hundreds of other agents filled the area, making sure that it didn't feel alone.

"What was it like?"

That was a question that, to say the least, had a few too many answers. Jin took a moment or three to wonder how he should respond. All futures held different outcomes, risks, situations, benefits, losses, sensations, and experiences. Jin often wondered how he could handle it all, the futures of thousands of people. One of the most honest possible answers was "stressful." It was devastating at times to walk through the bustling halls of Border, only to see futures of hard truths, failure and pain. It also put a lot of pressure on him, to see everything. To stop everything. They didn't seem to understand that not everything is avoidable. Bit everyone expected that he know and do it all, by himself. If it happens in his head, nobody can really help.

"Uh, Jin? You still there?" Tachikawa teased, with a layer of suspicion. Jin started a little, an odd occurrence for somebody like him. "Hey, Jin, you alright?" Tachikawa raised an eyebrow. Oh, one little jump and suddenly something is wrong! he thought darkly, but in all honesty, he was frustrated immediately by how well Tachikawa knew him. A moment's hesitation, and Tachikawa could figure something was wrong. "Yeah, I'm fine" he said, smiling to cover up. "Why the sudden interest?" Tachikawa grinned awkwardly. "I've always been curious, I guess i just never got around to asking." Jin stopped for a moment to think, of the many answers he could give, 'Stressed' wasn't the correct one here...

Ignorant bastard.

He cursed mentally. "Well It's very unique." He piped, his forced smile always didn't fit right with Tachikawa around. "And fascinating..." As he spoke, Jin began flipping through the 627 most probable futures of this conversation, looking for the best outcome. Or rather, the shortest. In his hunt, futures 20, 106, 215, 460 and 592 stood out for his needs.

Then, his routine life was over. It was the kind of fate you could never undo, or redo. The kind that changes everything. An unavoidable fate that set Jin on the track of Unreliability. Of insanity itself.

It started suddenly as a sharp pain. It started to throb immediately, in a hard and rapid succession. "Holy fuck!" the words had slid out as soon as it began. He gripped his head. The sharp stinging became unbearable in an instant. He felt as if his skull would split at any moment. Jin buckled down, cursing, as the futures he had so briefly seen became distorted. "Jin!" Tachikawa yelped as Jin abruptly fell to his knees. "Damn!" Jin managed as it passed slowly. his eyes to the clean floor. "Jin! Oh my god, are you alright? What the hell was that?" Jin raised his head, confused to ask the same question. Once his gaze hit his concerned rival, however, futures bloomed again and the pulsating agony. It was easily the worst pain he had ever felt. Tachikawa wouldn't touch him, and his cries were drown out by a throbbing hell. What the hell was this? He got a sickening feeling in his stomach that this wasn't going to end well. (what he would never guess was the extent of it all) He attempted to stand only to crumble down again. Tachikawa looked horrified. It became hazy, and the world slid in and out of focus with ease. He tried once more to rise to his feet, and a small yelp escaped him before it all went dark.

The crisp, cold morning biting down at his nose had fully woken Tachikawa. Which was saying something, as sleep tugged down at his eyes. He had stayed at HQ late into the night after Jin had abruptly collapsed. Tachikawa had stubbornly refused to go home until his friend woke up, despite the staff's futile attempts. That happened to 3am. The doctors wouldn't let him see anyway, and after some bargaining, forcefully sent him home. Jin had texted him an hour or so later, apologizing for the trouble, (Trouble? It wasn't like Jin had given him a chore or anything, he wasn't bothered at all, he was just worried.) and confirming that he would still be going on the away mission. Tachikawa's concerns became more and more justified as Jin doggedly avoided all of Tachikawa's questions of his health. He only ever responded with an "I'm fine, don't worry about it.

Looking through the plaza full of whispering A-Rank agents, Tachikawa still didn't see Jin anywhere. Maybe he was just being paranoid, seeing some of the other A Rank agents had yet to arrive. Checking around he saw most of the A-Rank operators whispering urgently. Ren and Ayatsuji were talking about the "Barriers" trigger technology, and how sleek it was. And seeing as there was nobody to really talk to, he waited for the others to arrive. (Half listening to the operators, who were not particularly interesting, as they just seemed to be squealing like stereotypical school girls.)

"Come on Usami!" Tachikawa heard Ayatsuji almost squeal. "We know exactly who you're gonna pick to help activate it once you land!" Usami, behind a mob of her friends and other agents, was still clearly nervous. "Gosh! Come on! You two would be so cute together! Come on, you better ask him! It's not like he would turn it down. Actually, I'll bet he asks to help you with all the calculations!" she gasped in awe as an idea came to her, and Tachikawa wondered where Arshyama's operator had gotten all her energy. It was still about 6:00 AM. "My gosh! Ren, imagine if he did! They would be doing science together for hours! You did say it would take you a while to do all the research!" she kept babbling on and on, as she got more and more out of hand. Ren was clearly done with her friend's antics, as she left the optimistic Ayatsuji and a rather flustered looking Usami behind her, she brushed past Tachikawa muttering something of a "I shouldn't have given her that coffee"

Little did anyone know, this was the start of Tachikawa's seemingly perpetual confusion.

He wasn't kept waiting as long as he first thought, as the doors opened to reveal the last if the agents trickle in. Three more agents came through. The first two was ... Kazama and Kikuchihara? That struck Tachikawa as odd, Kazama was normally very punctual, it wasn't like him at all to be late. Kazama must've felt it was wrong too, as his eyes nervously darted back and forth, as he hurriedly dragged a grumbling Kikuchihara by the wrist. The duo looked to be in such in such a hurry, they hadn't even activated their triggers yet. To Tachikawa's surprize, Kazama didn't seem angry in the slightest. Not even remotely frustrated. Tachikawa had known Kazama for a long time, and he could tell there was something different about him. A more optimistic and playful tone had been added to his usually serious and unwaveringly discipline air...

Huh.

Well, it didn't really seem like his business, and Kazama seemed happy, for whatever reason, so Tachikawa tried to put that out of his mind. He had enough to worry about, namely the man the trailed behind the couple, but Tachikawa couldn't help but notice the unusual white sweater that Kazama wore. It almost swallowed him, really. He could've sworn that it belonged to Kikuchihara, but he never got around to asking. It wasn't really his place to pry anyway. Instead, his attention was redirected to Jin. Or, rather, who should've been Jin.

Tachikawa could automatically tell something was wrong. There was a sudden starved need for answers that appeared out of nowhere but Jin's oddly slouched figure. He felt himself get more and more curious the closer he got, as his questions filled up, and spilled over. The only one that truly mattered, however, was the simply broad question of a "What happened?" and "Will you be ok?" Unlike the late night, digital conversation they had the night before, Jin couldn't avoid him now. He hoped. It wasn't until the crowd parted and Jin was almost before him could Tachikawa see what a sorry state he was in. He was slouching, as he had noticed earlier. His posture honestly reminded Tachikawa of that of somebody with a hangover. He looked rather... Beat. He actually wore his goggles for once, but there were askew on the bridge of his nose. He looked disheveled, and his Jacket was ruffled and slightly tattered. His usual air of confidence had suddenly vanished, only to be replaced by exhaustion and confusion. Uncertainty, you could call it. That really stuck with Tachikawa. He had never in his life see Jin like this scene the day he had predicted his own death...

Tachikawa got a little red faced as he committed his own common mental tabu. He thought about the night Jin had predicted that death. Jin had held it together until Tachikawa had found him. The moment Tachikawa had forced him to talk about it...

Not the issue now, FOCUS!

Forcefully casting the thoughts from his mind, he took the last steps towards Jin.

It really was a powerful contrast, the mastermind, the manipulator, had fallen behind. That was how dire the situation was. As he would explain the half truths of it to Izumi later, he called it "The figurative gravity."

Tachikawa opened his mouth to say something, anything, ask and hope for an answer of any kind, he was immediately denied that right. He had gotten out about half of his sentence, when Jin realised who he was talking to, went pale, and turned away.

He walked away without another word.

His eyes fixed downwards as he staggered the other direction, Jin couldn't even walk straight. This was bad.

Anyones' initial reaction to their best friend turning away rudely like that might be shock, or betrayal, Tachikawa's reaction, by comparison, may have had a little shock, but rather than any lingering emotions like bitterness, it felt more of a concerned curiosity. Knowing Jin's stubborn nature firsthand, he knew that pursuing him would be pointless, and probably decrease his chances of understanding this insane situation.

After a careful pause, Tachikawa assembled his plan of action, just like he would do for anything else in life. Regardless if that plan was carried through or not (His battle plans usually worked out well, his school-work battle plans did not often end up well...).

He worked his way over to the gossiping operators. All he could hear was an excitable "Just admit it! You will totally pick him, and you totally like-" "Shut up!" Usami flustered playfully. In Tachikawa's opinion, it wasn't really a time for games. Usami looked embarrassed, and Tachikawa felt that he didn't have time for this. Having heard enough, he quickly pulled Usami away from her overly enthusiastic friend. "Yes Tachikawa? Do you need anything? You don't look so good." Whether or not he was, he couldn't tell. "No, I think Jin does. Have you seen him?" Usami frowned. "Jin? Yeah, I was confirming his mental state last night. Why? He seemed fine then." After taking in the look on Tachikawa's face, she replied "Yes, I was there, the only issue I saw was some clouded judgement. He was so sleep deprived, we didn't think to much of it. Why? What did you notice? You would be better at this than me..." Tachikawa was about to ask what she was on about, (Good heavens, Tachikawa thought himself to be the least qualified person to help with something like this, he wasn't a scientist) but his priorities were on Jin, not on some vague attempt at flattery or whatever she had meant by that. "Not the point right now, something is terribly wrong, I need your-"

"Everyone."

Commander Kido's voice fired through the thin air like a cannon. He sure knew how to direct attention to him. He was greeted by his usual, immediate silence.

"Welcome to the final away mission."

And that was it. Kido had given a very large and unhelpful speech about the purpose of the away mission. Maybe it was because Tachikawa wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, or maybe it's because he had so many other things on his mind, he only caught bits and pieces of the speech here and there. He understood enough. Usami held, in her possession, two triggers that combined to create "Barriers." She would need one other agent's, of her choice, help. They would need to activate it together. To ensure the first trigger had set in properly, they would be activated one at a time with a given period of time, that they would need to stall for, in between. Unfortunately, that time would be hard fought for, as the planet they would land on to set it up from a proper distance, was the most aggressive planet in the data. Leques. Commander Kido asked for everyone's full cooperation with Usami, no matter the branch they work for. Usami was handed a ludicrous amount of paperwork, and they boarded the away ship.

Immediately the ship was very different from all the others. It looks like an actual home, not just Rows of crammed, ugly seats. They had taken the time to use volume-creation triggers to make tons of extra space. It was still small, especially with 14 passengers, but it was a definite Improvement. There was a small kitchen area and adjoined living room. The walls were glass. Real glass, (Glass was to hard to replicate out of trion) so that they could look out into the deep contents of space. There was a long hallway with bedrooms. 2 people per room, with the owner's name engraved on plates on the doors. In the back with a steel Trion door labeled "control room/ lab" no surprise there, every Away ship had one. The door closed behind them, and the real world was gone. Out of pure curiosity, Tachikawa went over to read the names of the rooms.

.Yoneya, Miwa.  
.Yuma, Midorikawa.  
.Osamu, Kodrea.  
.Izumi, Karusama.  
.Usami, Konami.  
.Kikuchihara, Kazama.  
.Jin, Tachikawa.  
.Control room/Lab  
.

"Huh." Jin couldn't escape from him now. Tachikawa just wanted to know if he was alright, though the probability of that was pretty low. he tried not to focus on that as he followed Jin into their room. Tachikawa looked around, it looked like some kind of hotel room. two small, white beds, a closet, and a small bathroom. there was a desk by the window that had a pleasant black shine, and a filing cabinet beside it. For some reason, it was filled with studies and documents about triggers, away ships, and files on every passenger. they had reading lights hooked to the wall by both beds. The wallpaper in the room was kind of generic, not that it really bothered them. The door closed behind them and the sane world was gone.

Tachikawa remained silent for a minute or so, and began to unpack, as he wondered what the proper way to start this conversation was. For some reason this already seems like a careful topic, and he should tread lightly. Not something he was particularly good at. Taking quick glances at Jin he noticed he was actually wearing his goggles instead of letting them hang freely off his neck. He look beat, maybe even defeated. He didn't start to unpack, he just flopped onto the bed, and curled up tightly into a small ball on top of the couldn't tell if that was intentional, but Jin was looking away from him and out the window. The ship jolted, and in the blink of an eye, they went through the Gateway. The gate closed behind them and the real world was gone. Usami must have started up the engines. His stomach dropped as the window revealed the smooth, suction-like passage. Then they were there, in the neighborhood. Deciding that he should probably just ask Jin now, before it got worse, Tachikawa sat on the end of Jin's bed.

When it came to getting Jin to open up, which was not an easy task, Tachikawa had learned it was all in the little things. He didn't respond at all at first, no surprise there, Jin always got what he wanted, and he always wanted to be independent and reliable. He would never admit to failure. Attempting to bridge the gap, Tachikawa whispered gently, "Hey Jin? Are you okay? I understand if you don't want to talk about it, I'm just really concerned about you." he continued, choosing his words carefully. There was still no response at all, it was as if he wasn't there. He was about to reach for Jin's hand, as a sign to him that he was there to help. The exhausted man pulled it away as soon as reached out, he twitched and his eyes shut the moment his gaze hit Tachikawa above his eye wear.

"...Get... away from me..." he growled through bared teeth.

"What? Jin, what.. what's wrong?" Tachikawa's tone dropped, this was serious. "I said.. get away from me!" he shrieked, as he sprung up, recoiling away from the other man as if he had been stung. "GET AWAY FROM ME, GODDAMN IT!"

He adjusted his goggles and gripped his head. Tachikawa was very confused. The other man had seemed to calm a little. "... just-... leave me alone..." Jin mumbled. Deciding that maybe, shouting wouldn't help anything, he mustered a small "...please." as a beg for his solitude. Tachikawa really hadn't expected that. Jin had never yelled at anyone before, much less him. Regretfully making up his mind, he decided it was pointless to do anything else now. Not that it would stop him from wishing he could. He stood up and walked towards the door, slowly, as if he wanted Jin to stop him to apologize, but Jin never did. "I'll be... out here if you need me...For anything. okay?" A visible shiver ran through Jin, but he didn't respond. The door closed behind him and the unreliable world was gone.

It was always off-putting when day night look the same. it's been about 14 hours since Jin had blown up, and Tachikawa hadn't seen him since. He hadn't even dared enter the room, knowing Jin was still trapped in. He didn't even come out to eat. Everyone began to trickle out of the living room at the end of the day, finally leaving Tachikawa and Usami alone. The last to leave was Kyousuke, who carried a sleeping Konami to her room. "What happened?" she begged, the moment the two disappeared. "Jin hasn't come out all day! You didn't... do anything, did you?" Tachikawa scrambled to collect his thoughts. "Of course, I had to do something! He's my rival!" He started indignantly, "Is he your friend? Or is he rival?" she asked politely. "I think you need to make up your mind." Her curious eyes met Tachikawa's blank gaze, "That's not the point here," she told him distractedly. "The point is that something is horribly wrong to Jin, which in turn probably means there's something horribly wrong in store for us." Tachikawa wanted to deny that but couldn't. "Now, I won't act like I know what I'm talking about here, after all I don't really know Jin, but I-"

"What?" Tachikawa cut her off.

"You're around him far more than I am!" Usami's patience became limited, and was running out.

"I know the Jin he wants me to know. You know Jin well. You've gone through thick and thin with him, for a long time. I have only ever met the 'power elite', you've meet Jin. you're the only person alive who has!" This suddenly seemed to carry a lot more weight. "I'm sorry to say, but I don't know what to tell you..." Usami said scratching her head. "I can help diagnose his mental state, but you would need to get him into the lab yourself." Tachikawa slumped forward.

"What? Why me?" he asked. She glared at him meaningfully. "What?" he asked again. "He's really mad at me! He hasn't come out all day, in case you hadn't noticed. Thanks for reminding me that this is my fault."

"I have noticed, Tachikawa, and that's precisely why only you can do this!" She pushed. Tachikawa rubbed his temples, and his jaw clamped shut. This is all making his head spin. "If he got mad at you for attempting to help, How can any of us do this?"

Still seeing his hesitation, She pleaded. "Please! Only you could do this!" that was barely enough to convince him, but he gave in. "Alright, will you be in the lab tomorrow?" Usami nodded. "For the whole day, I'll be ready whenever so I don't care when just please get him in there!"

"...Understood..."

Usami headed to bed when it occurred to him that Jin had not eaten or drank anything that day. He grabbed Jin some water in his favorite fruit, and holding his breath finally knocked on the door. Almost thankfully there was no response. Tachikawa opened the door tentatively and his covers were scrunched up at the foot of his bed. He was unhappy and pale, and was also very clearly wasn't a good sign.. He hadn't changed clothes either, only removed his goggles. He was twitching and I watched, horrified, as Jin often gasped "No." he tried not to worry too much but that was awfully hard. Jin looked so discontent, and pale. Even after Tachikawa crawled in his own bed, feeling mentally and physically exhausted, he couldn't sleep, he was too concerned. He badly wanted to wake up Jin, he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself, Jin would probably be even more mad at him if he had though, and then they ran the risk of being unable to get the help they needed. Anyway, Tachikawa turned on his reading light and begin to watch over Jin. Just as a friend. Seeing that it was worrying him so much, then he might as well. he was glad he did.

He'd been desperately debating waking up Jin until 3:23 a.m. when his little Game of 'guard dog' paid off, in an unfortunate manner. No longer the quiet mutters, Jin's voice began to rise. "stop it..." his slurred speech sounded sad, as his fingers clenched. His expression screwed shut. "no get away from me!" he cried. He sounded afraid.

It almost sounded like a beg, a cry for help. Tachikawa's eyes widened when he saw tears roll down the sleeping cheeks of his friend. He shook, "Stop this... Stop!" he cried, Tachikawa was on his feet in moments. Rapidly tapping Jin, He called his name Softly. "Jin? Jin, Jin!" His eyes opened, he jumped backwards, seeing Tachikawa standing above him.

"Jin?" He tried again.

Tears still rolled down his cheeks, and he didn't seem to know why. He looked around hurriedly as if he couldn't remember anything, before he seized his goggles. He gulped, trembling. "T-Tachikawa?" The older man tried to smile reassuringly. "Yes, Jin, do you need anything? I brought you some-" Jin had a terrifying glint in his eyes. "I said to leave me alone!" he yelled forcefully, scrambling back even farther as if intimidated. This wont do..Tachikawa remembered what Usami had said. "Why?" he asked Jin as unthreatening as possible. "You- ... k-know exactly why!" he sobbed, his words became rather butchered. "No, I don't know why. Please tell me..."

He started to close the gap between him and his seemingly unstable friend. "You're here to hurt me? and torture me? to kill me? Go away! I don't want you here, I want the pain to stop! I want to leave! Go away!" he shrieked. Tachikawa briefly thanked the engineers for making all the walls soundproof. "I promise, I'm not here to hurt you," he continue to inch closer, there was nowhere for him to run, his back was to the glass window. "Liar..." he choked out as he broke into another pitiful sob. "No, I'm not. Would I lie to you?" Tachikawa defended himself, choosing his words carefully.

"I said.. get away from me!" He screamed, but Tachikawa was almost there. His hand was reaching out, trying to show that he wasn't there to harm him. Crying didn't really suit Jin. His eyes were red and puffy behind his eyewear, and he shrunk away. He looked like a small mouse withdrawing from a cat. He seemed panicked. His eyes squeezed shut in anticipation for something awful. Tachikawa's fingertips brushed the fabric of Jin's jacket sleeve, ruffled because of his hunched shoulders. His hand meet Jin's arm peacefully. A squeak followed, but after a moment he opened his eyes, and a quick tremble shook Jin's body. Tachikawa's eyes shone with care and support, Jin's with worry and timidity.

"What are you doing?" Jin managed.

"I'm helping you." he responded. Jin flinched again as the other man's hand moved suddenly, but it only rubbed up and down his own arm comfortingly. "Why?" he asked, voice rising. He was trying and failing miserably to suppress his tears. "Why? Because I care about you, I don't want you to be alone or scared, or hurt. I want you to be happy and safe."

He'd suddenly gained all the patience and kindness in the world, a good thing, because it got very out of hand very quickly. Jin opened his mouth to respond but was suddenly cut off as he hit his limit. All the came out with a broken sob, a gasp, and pathetic whine. Tears spilled every which way, "Jin?" Tachikawa asked as he gathered the uncontrolled sobbing mess into his arms. "Jin, can you hear me?" All that surfaced as a response was another uncharacteristically desolate mewl.

"God..." Tachikawa flustered. Jin seem conflicted. He had just been screaming at him to leave, but now desperately back onto him. Maybe Tachikawa had gotten through to him.

That hope was short-lived.

Jin dug into him, and he almost split into two. It was rather disorienting. Jin leaned into him, tears falling in a waterfall, digging his hands into his shoulders. Full and weak, Jin wanted to pull closer, but he also didn't want to. He hugged Tachikawa close, needing him desperately, but he cursed at him under his breath. He choked out gasps with his demands to "stop." or "leave." he swore, and verbally abused both Tachikawa and himself. No matter how vehemently he hated them, he would not let go. It was like two entities trapped in one. Seeing it unfold before him was quite a mind screw.

Tachikawa was always told that he never thought before he spoke, so he didn't dare say a word. He could only hope that Jin would get it all out of his system. He sat there for almost an hour, as Jin cussed them out and hated them, yet clung on to him for dear life, tears still spilling out of his eyes. It was a painful hour before Jin reached an agreement, and without warning, the fight was over. He made up his mind. Jin shoved Tachikawa back, and scrambled away. Tachikawa lately swore under his breath, Just have to keep this.. Oh, him, under control.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?!" Jin begged desperately. "I said leave!" he shouted. Or at least, tried to. His voice faltered through his tears. "Jin! Calm down, I was only-"

"What did you say? ME, calm down? YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Jin's voice was rising at the very second, but it was weak and torn from crying, and there was a hint of subtle anger in it.

Tachikawa had honestly had no idea what he was on about. He wondered if even Usami could could figure it out. He tried to approach but Jin started backing away again. He continued to follow him until Jin's back hit the door of the restroom. He skidded behind the door, and locked himself in, finally gaining his unhealthy solitude once more. Tachikawa rattled the door, but it was no use. He heard more sobs from the other side, but Tachikawa picked his battles. This was pointless, and hopeless, so he couldn't just leave his friends like this, so he leaned his back up against the wooden slab and listened to the desolate cries from the other side as he looked for heavy from exhaustion. It was 4:36 a.m., and he had a long day to begin with, but he still couldn't quite relax. Now, we can start this over eventually...His efforts eased up, even through all that had happened, and he fell asleep with his back to the door.

He was safe. For now. Everything was warped, his head stung and the ground moved under him in waves. He was trapped and he wanted to leave. The man outside... what was his name again? Had he always been there? He couldn't remember. Maybe Jin would die here. Maybe he was already dead. Nobody knows, there was nobody to know. Was there ever anyone? he wondered what the man outside was thinking. Did he think? was Jin thinking? His head pounded and his throat was dry. He didn't know. He felt dizzy and heavy as he slumped to the floor. He didn't know anything. Was he lost? Was he human? He closed his eyes and prayed for a better tomorrow, not quite remembering what tomorrow was, or if it would ever come.

"Jin?" A light voice carried through the door. The one flimsy barrier between them. Jin started awake. He felt awful. His arms and legs felt as if they were lead, and his side ached where he had been sleeping on it. He was lightheaded, and empty, when was the last time he had eaten? The sun was gone, so he couldn't say for sure. He had an awful headache, and he felt like this had been dragging on for weeks. How long was a week again?"Jin?" The voice rang again. Jin desperately dug his mind for a name. One surfaced, but he was uncertain. "Ta-achikawa?" He couldn't think straight, his voice was quaking. He sat up to see a small puddle by his head. Had he been crying? He didn't remember it. His future's didn't tell him so. "Jin! You're awake! We need to talk, please, come out." With great difficulty, Jin found his footing. He scraped his memories for any information. His Futures almost glitched away from him. He only came up with one thought, one pattern. One image. He only remembered what Tachikawa did best. The one thing he could recall...

Killing.

"No!" Jin gasped suddenly. Abruptly fearful for his life yet again. Tachikawa could possibly break down the door. Why couldn't this man leave him alone?Jin didn't know, so he found out. he turned to the mirror, the futures would tell him.

Shit.

His goggles were gone, so he stared head first into the blossoming possibilities. Wrong move.

27 futures were available. They all lead, in unison, to white hot pain. The futures were agonising. His skull felt like it were being shredded to bloody pieces. He couldn't take it anymore, nobody else's, and not his own. He had lost control. One swing, and he didn't have to see it. One action, and this temporary pain was over. he did it without thinking twice.

The mirror broke apart into sharp scraps under his hand. He had swung with such force, the entire smooth surface was demolished. The small splinters peeled up under his fist, and dug under his skin. The large pieces crashed to the floor, cracking into glittering thorns. Jin let out a daunt cry of pain as slivers of glass dug deeper and deeper into his flesh, blood already running down his wrist and hands down to his knuckles. "Jin!?" Tachikawa called, sounding panicked. Jin didn't even hear him. "What happened?" he cried again. Jin swore loudly, as he felt the need to cry, but there was no water left in him. He only heard a large crash as the door swung back on it's hinges. "Holy fuck..." Was all he could muster. The scene before him was horrific. Shattered glass everywhere, coating the floor in dangerous gleams. Jin was cut up, bruised and terrified. He leaned on the counter in a petty attempt to stand, but tumbled down as Tachikawa entered. Jin's hand was swollen and severely bleeding, the sour red liquid started streaming down onto the floor. Some of the scattered glass had Jin's blood, small slivers jammed into his hand, so they barely poked out the red surface of his body. "Jin! Oh my god, what happened?" That was a dumb question, he knew exactly what happened, it didn't make it any less awful. Glass snapped underfoot as he raced to his side. "Jin, what has happened to you? This is insane!" Jin didn't even reply.

"Damn it, your hand!" Tachikawa started opening cabinets at random. "Hold on!" Jin couldn't move, he just sat there, feeling faint, consciousness was so hard hold onto. He didn't want to see anymore futures. Tachikawa knelt beside him, and carefully took Jin's hand in his own, glass working it's way into him, still pouring blood. "We're gonna get help for you after this, ok? It will all be fine..." His voice sounded hoarse and distant, and he couldn't tell if that was because everything sounded hoarse and distant to him then, or if it was because Tachikawa didn't believe what he said. Trion body activated, he leaned down and began to pick out the small slivers of glass that had embedded themselves in the soft flesh. Jin didn't say anything, he didn't thank him or curse him for the help. his eyes were dazed, he trembled, but nothing could force it's way out. His constant quake did make it hard to pull shards out of him, but Tachikawa remained patient. The limp figure before him didn't seem to care either way.

It took a minute to wrap up the wound. Tachikawa tried his best, but he should have Usami do it next time, she had a steadier hand than him. The entire mirror was on the ground in ruins. "Come on, let's get you out of here, we'll go get help for you, it will all be ok..."

Jin looked up at him, blinking. "We'll go together, come on!" He held out his hand to help Jin up, but it was refused. "Go with you?" he asked, even his voice shook uncontrollably. "Yes, with me. Usami said she could help you." Jin looked at the empty space above Tachikawa's shoulder, avoiding the future. Standing was hard. "Help me?" he echoed, as if not quite registering, or even hearing any of this. "Yes, we can go figure this out!"

"If only I knew what 'this' was." His forced smile felt odd around his best friend.

"Won't you just hurt me?" he asked worriedly. This entire scenario felt more and more forced by the moment. Or maybe it was just out of place. "I promise, here..." he dug around in his pockets. "Trigger, off!" His real body appeared, heavy and clumsy. "I can't possibly hurt you now." Jin looked at at him, and flinched. His failing memory paining him. "Come with me-"

SMACK!

Tachikawa crashed against the door. He was stunned. He couldn't speak. The impact had been too sudden for that. His cheek was stinging, "What the hell?" he gasped. Red had filtered through Jin's wrapped hand where his hand had struck, soaking through the cotton. "Get the fuck... away from me..." Jin growled. He clutched his hand, small crimson leaks splattered onto the floor with long, red fingers. Did Jin just... slap him? Tachikawa was shocked. He had landed square on his tailbone. That stung too. Jin looked from his hand to Tachikawa, fear written all over his face. How disconnected was Jin from the rest of the world? Tachikawa snapped. There wasn't any other option. Jin would thank him for this later., once he was back to normal. If he got back to normal. Tachikawa's kindness was gone, he would have to do this the hard way.

It must have shown, because Jin stepped away. "I didn't mean to-" he cut off in a squeak as Tachikawa swiftly grabbed at Jin's jacket sleeve. Jin's eyes widened as he was dragged out the door. He wanted to get away from this place. Despite his futile efforts, however, he was to much of a wreck to truly resist. His feet skidded on the floor behind himas he was forcefully thrown back into the main room. "Grab your goggles and the food, and we're going to Usami's" He asserted. Jin couldn't even think for himself, so he simply obliged.

Tachikawa flung the door open, not thinking about the others on the ship, and pointed towards the lab door. "Out." He commanded. This wasn't going to be easy, was it? Already, he felt so bad about what he was doing, but this was the only help he could really offer. Sometimes to do some good, you've got to be the bad guy. Still, guilt rose up in his chest, and he would much rather have held Jin in his arms until this was over. "Now!" Jin bowed his head, and slunk out the door, headed to the end of the hall. Tachikawa closed the door behind them, at the insane world was gone. He glanced back, Konami and Kyosuke had appeared in the entrance to the hallway, to see what the commotion was. The two looked concerned (Konami gripped onto Kyosuke's hand), as they glanced at Jin's retreating figure, but Tachikawa nodded at them to signal that it was all under control. For now. They must've noticed Jin's absence yesterday, because Konami looked on the verve of interrupting them to question this. Thankfully, Kyosuke got the message, He grabbed at the other hand and pulled her away. Tachikawa had always assumed they were dating, but he had never really asked. Evidently his assumption was right. (Little did he know that they had just gotten together two days previous, and his original guess had been several months ago, and wrong.) Not really his concern right then, as Jin opened up the door before them, and the reliable world was there.

It had taken about an hour. Tachikawa couldn't really do much as Usami questioned Jin, examining notes, Making points, and scribbling out improbable answers on a clipboard. The lab was far more pleasant than it looked from the outside. You could tell it was made for Usami by the nice pastel color of the walls to a plush bean bag by the bookshelf. There was a dark wooden coffee table in the middle with a couch and two chairs facing it, which was rather welcoming. Two filing cabinets, and said large bookshelf, crammed full of everything from manags to hard-bound textbooks. already, tons of which had been pulled off the shelf and stacked in messy piles. It had only been a handful of hours since she had offered her help, and yet she had already done loads of research and made on long list of possibilities based on Jin's actions. The most intriguing part of the room, was in the back. A Massive control panel, with complex figures, and maps. Usami had also left her signature mark on the room by abandoning, already, three pairs of fuzzy socks, strewn on the floor. Thankfully, Jin didn't seem nearly as scared of Usami as he was by him. he agreed to her will, and answered most questions without turbulence. (although his responses seemed minimal)

Usami asked him to temporarily step outside for the final part of the questioning. He wondered what she would have him leave for, and his ears turned red as he drew up an answer. He left them be, and tried to not let his curiosity get the best of him. He leaned his back to the wall just outside the door, just so he could be with Jin for the final verdict. He got more and more scared of what the answer to this was, as his imagination ran away with him. How bad was this?Thankfully or otherwise, his attention was Thankfully or otherwise, his attention was not caught by that for very long. Two more agents had woken up, more or less. Tachikawa had no idea what to call it. He was trying not to think, only making him think more, when the door down the hall flew open. Miwa flew out, his back hitting the wall behind him. Yosuke was practically on top of him... Tickling him?

Tachikawa had no clue.

Yosuke was grinning madly as his captain squirmed under him. Miwa giggled, and smiled under the other boy, as his hands slid down the wall. "Hey! No fair! Cut it out!" he choked out, between a cheery laugh. Tachikawa wasn't really sure wether or not he was actually seeing this. "Aww..." was all Yosuke replied, but he stopped, letting Miwa catch his breath. "Did I ever tell you what a sweet laugh you have?" Yosuke's eyes shone with care. "Yes, but your still wrong. You'res is still better." He airily smiled. (Tachikawa wondered what he was on, because Miwa never smiled.) Miwa blushed, and shifted his weight. He ruined it. Miwa had finally spotted him at the end of the hallway. "Tachi... Kawa?" He looked suddenly pale, and wished to be anywere else. Tachikawa nodded, attempting, for his sake, and theirs, to stay as straight-faced as possible. Easier said than done however, seeing before him the most carefree agent in border pinning Shuji Miwa to the wall. Sexually. Yosuke gulped, and his face went red, with an expression that screamed "Oh... shit."

"T-this isn't what it looks like!" Miwa looked mortified. Yosuke frowned, knowing that Tachikawa wasn't that dumb. "Actually," He leaned down and kissed Miwa quickly. "This is exactly what it looks like." He corrected. Miwa fumed a vibrant hue of red, and after another prolonged silence, Yosuke took him by the hand and pulled him back into their room without another word. The door closed behind the duo, and the normal world resumed.

"What the hell was that?"

Tachikawa had been so confused at everything recently, he almkst forgot that there was any other feelings. What on earth was happening? Now, they weren't exactly on earth, were they? Usami called him back in a few minutes later, and he did his best to pretend that never happened.

It had been mere moments before Usami was preparing them. "Well, I know what's wrong now..." She glanced at Tachikawa "And for what reasons.." Jin was still slouched, but he still looked very scared. "I'm afraid the answer isn't very pretty."

Shit.

She tightly gripped her clipboard in her hand and looked at Jin, her voice began to falter. "Well Jin, those, er things... You know what we disscussed... Those are screwing with your subconscious and it's coordination with the rest of your brain..." She looked very nervous. "Your side effect isn't reliable, and..."

Jin's bloodshot eyes widened. "And?" Usami wasn't even done. "Your... Your..." she seeemed to have some trouble saying it. "Shit, I'm so sorry Jin..."

"Your insane."

...

Insane.

"What?"

No.

That wasn't right. That wasn't reasonable. That wasn't true. That wasn't right, that wasn't reliable. Jin's side effect, gone? Jin was insane? Forever? Permanently? Couldn't they go back? Why Jin? This wasn't happening. Usami bit her lip. Before Tachikawa realized it, he was in tears. Did he just lose Jin? The most important person in his life? How did he let this happen? Why? Why did Jin go insane now? He didn't do anything to deserve this. Jin pulled himself up to his feet, something that had been proving difficult. His hands struck the table forcefully. He seemed to be having some difficulty finding words. He had already brushed past them, in tears again and had flung open the door before he found his voice. The attacker managed to choke out "Damn you all!" before the door slammed behind him.

"Jin! Wait!" he moved to follow him, when Usami caught his arm. "Tachikawa..." He turned to her. "What?!" His concern and focus was with the man out the door, not with her. "Please, we need you to do this, and I asked you to do it for the other reason. Tachikawa, we know how you feel about Jin, it's obvious, but I don't think Jin does. It's now or never, get in there and tell him how you feel. He really needs you right now." Usami released him.

"Be careful!" she called after him as he bolted down the hallway.

Usami knew. How did she? Even as he chased Jin, he could feel the tips of his ears get red. Jin popped open the only unmarked door in the hallway. He had slowed his pace, and Tachikawa had caught up. He wasn't that fast however, knowing that he barely got the chance to see where he was. A virtual training room. The tell-tale luminescent green grid shone down on the two as Tachikawa got a good look at Jin. Frustrated didn't even begin to describe it. It was the only thing he could think of to describe it. Jin's hand flicked out, and hit the activation switch. Tachikawa blinked in bewilderment as his trion body was pulled out. He didn't have time to move, think, breathe or comprehend what was happening before there was a gap in his chest. "Trion relay system, Tachikawa down!" he was split right through the chest, and his upper half slid down the diagonal cut, trion that steamed out of him then solidified, and slid him back into place. "We're doing this the hard way I guess..." Jin was looking desperate, he swung again, but the other was ready this time as he managed to pull out his kogetsu to counter, Jin's left side became exposed as he swung with his right, and Tachikawa struck with all his might.

"Relay system, severed, Jin down." there was no time to think, no time to question, what happened, happened. Tachikawa struck Jin down without a second thought. This was happening way to fast. One moment, he was pathetic, pitiful , crying in his arms, the next he was breaking mirrors, and diagnosed with mental insanity, then now facing off in some kind of desperate battle. It seemed forced, this whole thing. Crap. Tachikawa had lost his focus, and Jin sent a scorpion blade straight through his heart.

Through his heart... No, Usami wasn't imagining things. Tachikawa often caught himself staring at Jin, and thinking about him in ways that he shouldn't. Tachikawa really was in love with him. Izumi would call him out for being overly obvious, but Jin never responded to his futile efforts. "If you're going to be so open about it, you might as well skip straight to sex in public." Izumi had told him once, rolling his eyes. "It's cringe worthy levels of obvious, just confess already!" but he never did. He couldn't. If he planned to confess, Jin would see it in his future, and then it would be ruined. Jin's side effect was hard to work around sometimes. Now Tachikawa understood."It's now or never." Jin wasn't using his side effect. Properly, anyway.

Momentarily, Jin was done. He clutched his blade in his hand and gasped for air. His chest heaved, and despite his attempts, he didn't have any energy left in him. He panted, and jabbed his blade into the ground as a mutual sign of defeat.

"Go on." Jin gasped. "What do you want from me...?" Tachikawa frowned. "I just want you to be alright, that's all. Honestly." Jin's eyes betrayed his doubt. Maintaining eye contact, Tachikawa grabbed at his blades and threw them back forcefully. Whatever it took to gain Jin's trust. The swords lodged into the camera, preventing anyone viewing them, once slashed open the activation switch, then lead on to wedge the door shut. Perfect. They were all alone. Tachikawa could take it from there. "Now, don't look at the future... Don't trust it... Try using your head manually." Jin depended on the futures to tell him about the past, present and future. He hadn't thought for himself in years. Jin paused and looked up at him, his beautiful blue eyes gazing up at him innocently.

"Now tell me what you can remember about me..." He prompted, wondering what this was like. Jin backed away again, not that he had very far to run, his back hit the wall. "..."

"What are these?" he sounded intimidated. "What do they mean?" Tachikawa approached him, but it seemed that Jin no longer cared.

"You, care about me... We're laughing, we're fighting, and enjoying it... We're on patrol together, we're competing..." He sounded astonished. Shaking his head suddenly. He broke off.

"I... Love you..."

What? ... Well...

Tachikawa felt his face warm up. Did he mean that? He might as well find out.

"It's now or never..."

He had waited so many years to confess, the thought of doing it now seemed scary. He is ready for this...He told himself. His hands moved slowly, as if his anxiety was weighing them down.

Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

His palm brushed Jin's cheek, soft and warm, other than the slick tear tracks that hadn't receded. Tachikawa shifted closer, Jin's hips pulling in his own like magnets, he was worried that he might lose control, but tried not to let it get to him. Taking a brief moment to admire Jin's figure under his own, pinned to the wall. Their chests pressed together, Tachikawa could vaguely feel Jin's heartbeat. He felt himself redding under Jin's electric blue stare. He saw a thin rosey powder work it's way onto Jin's face foreheads touched gently.. they were so close. Tachikawa's thumbs brushed away some of the tears that slowly rolled down, and he felt Jin's pulse quicken. Maybe it was his own. He pressed his lips to Jin's. The moment they touched, Tachikawa was unsure if would be able to control himself. Somehow, Jin's lips were even better than he imagined, and he had imagined them often enough. They were so smooth, soft and luscious, his lips glided over them with ease. His hand reached up to tangle in Jin's hair. Feeling the smooth texture run past his finger-tips made his heart ache even more. Jin's lips parted, allowing Tachikawa to get a better grip almost immediately. The outside friction wouldn't satisfy them for long however, as Jin nibbled at Tachikawa's bottom lip, a sly request to insert his tongue. He obliged without question, still rather shell-shocked from the whole ordeal. His grip in Jin's hair tightened, his tongue brushing against his as they boldly reached between the other's jaws. Jin's mouth was wet, saliva dripping, tasting faintly of fruit and salt. It was coarse, sloppy, and one of the greatest things they would ever taste. He craved more, as he felt Jin's lips and teeth tugging, and his tongue rub his inner cheek. Tachikawa almost gasped as Jin's fingers wrapped around his hips. His hands bent perfectly along the bone. The small amounts of desired friction from that wasn't enough, he wanted more. He didn't take it any further though, trying to keep himself in check. Drool slid past their lips, a combination of both of theirs, and more pooled up between them. He had to resist the urge to... feel him up. Mouths watering, Tachikawa instead pressed his lips up to Jin's harder. Jin began to stifle small moans around the other's mouth, more hums of pleasure. Tachikawa guiltily felt his pants get heavier, as Tachikawa started to suck at Jin's tongue. Hard. They wished they never had to stop, but Jin was still in a poor condition, do it had to end. Tachikawa took his time though, because damn, his dreams couldn't even compare to the real thing. With Jin still gasping under him, he peeled himself off the succulent lips with some difficulty. He to, catching his breath, wishing he could do this all day. Jin looked up at him, behind the blue-ish plastic, Tachikawa could see his eyes fill with wonder, as if contemplating whether or not this was happening. Maybe even a bit of expectancy. Either way, after a small silence, Jin was thrust right back under the weight of his life-changing situation.

It was an unreliable insanity.

That wonder-filled innocence didn't last very long as he found himself once again worrying about something other than Tachikawa's mouth. Jin's head was spinning, and not just from dehydration or sleep deprivation. How much was his life changing? This seemed to fast, how much of this was real? He was unsure.

Tachikawa released his grip, and carefully, as if not to injure him, took Jin fully into his arms. He felt as if Jin belonged there, just within his reach, in his grasp. Jin didn't object as Tachikawa guided Jin's head into the crook of his shoulder, so he wouldn't have to see anything, no futures. Jin held on in return, but his grip was still flimsy. "It's going to be alright..." Tachikawa told him. "Everything will be just fine."

This was the reliable sanity that Jin needed.

"We can fix this, we can. We can make it through this..." Jin nuzzled into Tachikawa's neck, thinking that his little jump was adorable when he did. "J-Jin?" he blushed. "Are you with me?" Jin closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, Tachikawa's presence filling him up. Of course he was. "I love you." was all he responded. "Er... Jin, I..." Tachikawa sighed, and then cracked a smile. "I love you too."

"Here," Tachikawa said, some time later. "Why don't you head back to the room and get some sleep. I need to go talk to Usami about some things,but I'll meet you there in a minute or so, alright?" Jin nodded, and retracted his arms, stepping away. "Sure..." he felt oddly vulnerable and alone now. Tachikawa pushed Jin's goggled up the bridge of his nose. "These are good for blocking out most futures, but they're not the most permanent thing in the world, I'll see what I can do about that." Jin nodded. "And don't look into anyone's future, ok?" he cautioned. "We are not doing this song and dance over again!"

His slid his hand into Jin's and pulled him towards an exit.

"We'll both be (un)reliable and (in)sane before you know it."


	5. Starstruck

The night was calling him. Kuga was getting restless. It had been a total of 5 days on the away mission, and Kuga felt odd lying in a bed for so long, pretending that he was more human than he was. Trapped in a trion body, he missed sleeping.

11:04 pm.

Kuga shifted to his side so he could hear better, and sure enough, once he listened carefully he could make out the soft and steady breaths of his roommate, Midorikawa. Hopefully asleep by now. For some reason, he just kept listening to those calm breaths, in and out. For a moment, Kuga felt strangely inhuman, he couldn't even remember what sleep was like at this point. He might have been a tad envious too, Midorikawa looked so peaceful and calm like that. So innocent and perfect. Looking at him all curled up made Kuga finally get up. He had to move.

Feeling the cool floor under his feet reminded him of where he was. The whole ship was out in the far reaches of space, the lights from their vessel shone right next to that of the nearby stars. Who knows how long they would be out there. Now that he was all alone, Kuga really wanted to go see the stars. In the dark, and by himself. Even if Meeden was his home now, he sometimes wished he could go back to someplace new, a new planet, another star. Why he hadn't thought of it sooner escaped him. Already wondering what he might see, he suddenly hesitated opening the door. He took one last glance at Midorikawa, and he began to feel something very strange. A stir in his chest, and a warmth in his face. His old heart area suddenly glowed with a vibrant light tingling sensation. A certain buoyancy and will taking hold. He reflexively grabbed at it through his Border uniform, it wasn't bad at all, just unexpected. "My trion body..." Kuga shook his head quickly, refusing to let a sudden panic set in. "No, I don't recall having a wound there, so I should still be fine, I'm fine." Kuga bit his lip. "Still, I better go check..." shivering a bit from the cold, he opened the door with a squeak that was to loud for his taste, and slipped into the main lounge. Or the "living room" he recalled Osamu referring to it as. The lights were out, but the room was fully lit, the walls were made of glass, or a trion substitute of it, and the glimmering galaxy leaked in from all sides. From his first step in the room, Kuga was already blown away, and he could hardly contain his voice as the windows gave way to the gorgeous view. Infinite stars, stretching every witch way, illuminating the dark obsidian sky with a soft glow. Thousands of twinkling stars shining together, was so pure and perfect. Not a toe out of line. Kuga's heart lurched as he thought of his old home when his gaze hit the distant planets. Every one of them so unique, adding a splash of individual color to the black and white glimmering masterpiece. A green planet, a blue, one orange, two whites and plenty too far away to really make out. Completely forgetting the task at hand, the small boy sat on the couch and began to admire the web of space phenomenon. He couldn't believe he used to call it "home." Looking from the inside out for once, Kuga thought it was quite majestic. The neighbor sat there, trying to take it all in, knowing that out here, you'll never see the same thing twice. To anyone else, this awe inspiring, but to Kuga, maybe it was bitter-sweet. A pang of unexpected home sickness kept him focused on the stars before him, so much so, that he didn't even hear the open behind him, "Yuma?" Midorikawa called out, his voice echoing in the empty room. Kuga jumped, and turned to face him, seeing Midorikawa he relaxed again. "Hey..." Kuga muttered, to break of in a chuckle at Midorikawa's reaction at the starlit abyss. Kuga wondered if he was that wide-eyed when he had first entered the room. "Wow..." he trailed off, as he walked to meet Kuga on the couch. Kuga felt the cushion sink down as Midorikawa settled in beside him. After a moment of childish wonder, Midorikawa turned to Kuga. "What's up? Couldn't sleep?" he asked innocently. Kuga froze. "Well, crap." was all he could think. He never really minded with anyone else, or really mentioned it to anyone outside of Tamakoma, but facing the younger boy, Kuga couldn't find it in himself to tell Midorikawa about his trion body. Kuga, of course, hated liars. All he could really come up with after a great pause was a "Yeah, something like that..." As the two of them turned their gaze back outwards to the universal light show. Kuga felt more alive than he had in awhile. The stars were spectacular, and this time, he wasn't alone. "Why are you up? ... N-not that I mind it, just uh, you know, was curious..." Kuga flustered eventually. Good god, he had no idea how to handle himself around Border agents sometimes. Midorikawa didn't seem to notice, or care, with a cheery response of "I heard you get up, and I wanted to make sure you were alright." Well now Kuga just felt stupid. Midorikawa wasn't done. "Uh, Yuma, not to pry or anything, but I don't think you've gotten much sleep on this trip, are you sure you're ok?"

So he had noticed.

"Yeah, I'm alright... I mean, maybe I'm a tad homesick. Well, old-home sick... But, uh, oh, never mind... I'm fine..." Kuga stammered. Why was it so hard for him to express himself around Midorikawa? The Smaller attacker didn't quite buy that, but didn't oppose it either. "Ok... If you're sure..." he frowned. "If you ever need anything, I will help you, alright? That's what friends are for." Kuga blinked, surprised. "Thanks." Now that a large yellow planet came into view, he could get a real look at Kuga's face. It was now very apparent to him that something else was wrong, but decided that if Kuga needed to say something, he would. Rather, he redirected his focus outside to the wonder filled starry array. Breathless once more in an instant, the two boys sat in absolute admiration of the deep velvet sky, brought to life with the small twinkling embers that burned that wondrous bright white. Suddenly remembering an old Meeden tradition Osamu told him about on a distant starry night, Kuga whispered quietly "That's a lot of wishes to be made..." "... Sorry, what?" Midorikawa hummed, only half listening. Kuga shook his head awkwardly. "Nothing, nope, sorry..." he mumbled. What made him feel so self conscious around Midorikawa? This boy looked up to him, so why did he always feel like such a wreck when he showed up? Pulled momentarily out of his starry trance, he remembered the his life could be ending at any moment. "Hey uhh... Shun? Can I talk to you about something?" he asked as politely as he could muster, hoping that Midorikawa would start paying attention if he used his first name. "That was fast..." the brunette attacker thought quickly, contrary to what he thought just moments ago, Kuga seemed to be telling him what was wrong very soon.

"I know this may sound odd, but trust me with this, ok? I know I'm in my ''regular' body, but do you think maybe you could cut me really fast with a scorpion? I don't know, maybe on the wrist, or hand?" "If the trion diffusion is normal, I'll be fine." To Kuga, this seemed like a usual and logical test. Kuga felt fine now, and didn't recall a wound in that part of his body, he was almost positive he was alright, this was just in case. Kuga didn't see anything wrong with it.

Midorikawa did.

He inhaled sharply, and sat there dumbfounded for a moment, before slowly turning to face Kuga, looking shocked and horrified. He went pale all of a sudden. "Midorikawa? Are you ok?" Kuga questioned. He knew that was an odd request, but what what was this? Midorikawa started, shaking his head, eyes wide. "Am I ok? Am I OK? Yuma, are you CRAZY? Who showed you that? Why would you do that? Why ask me? Do you understand what this is? Why? What's wrong? What's going on?" he could hardly choke out his questions, but hey came one after another anyway. Kuga shrunk back from his panicked rival. "What did I do?" Midorikawa looked sick, and was breathing heavily.

"Give me your hand"

Kuga didn't have the slightest clue of what was going on, and only complied when Midorikawa forcefully seized his hand. Kuga felt the odd sensation return, a strange lightness in his chest, now accompanied by a warm feeling in his face. Midorikawa pulled Kuga in, until they were side by side. Kuga then felt something even more odd. Midorikawa was trembling. Kuga looked over, at his friend with great concern,as the other boy looked solemn. Slowly, as if not wanted to see it, but looking anyway, Midorikawa turned over Kuga's hand. His shaking subsided. "Oh thank god..." Midorikawa uttered, holding on to the neighbor's hand, and squeezed it tight. "Thank god..." Protectively putting his arm around the fearful figure, Kuga asked once more."Are you sure you're ok?" To which he simply nodded, eyes still staring down, still gripping the hand in his own. Kuga went silent for a few minutes, and his hand was firmly clutched, before he eventually asked, "What's wrong? What did I do?" Midorikawa let out a small, almost inaudible, sigh. "I'm sorry Yuma, you probably don't understand any of this, you don't know, oh gosh, I apologize" Midorikawa still sounded distant, but also panicked and pained. "No, not a clue... And you're fine..." Kuga said, still trying to pick up pieces of Meeden culture when he could. Midorikawa released his hand, but Kuga kept his arm, casually as possible, wrapped about his rival. "No... I'm sorry again..." Midorikawa mumbled, looking somewhat ashamed. "It's just that Sometimes, when humans are depressed, they'll cut open their wrists, with anything they can find, as like a form of self self harm..." Midorikawa resumed trembling and his voice began to weaver. Kuga pulled the young boy close. "Sorry..." he whimpered another unneeded apology. "It's just that, that's what it sounded like you wanted me to do, I panicked, and jumped to a conclusion. I actually get really scared when people start doing that." His voice cracked pitifully, and he sounded as if he were about to cry. "I had a friend who did that... And..." he choked, and suddenly curled up into Kuga, arms thrown needily around the white haired boy. There was a small sob before he could finally stammer:

"He committed suicide last week"

He choked, and another distorted wheeze left him as he held back tears. Still startled, yet still attempting to help, Kuga brought the sobbing boy in. Fumbling in a panicked manner for the right words, all Kuga dare say then was "No, don't be sorry, I should be, for not explaining myself better. I had no idea..." Kuga truly had no idea what else to say. So even Meeden has these problems... guess they're everywhere. "That's awful..." And to think just a few minutes ago, he was worried about me. I guess Midorikawa doesn't let anything beat him. Really admirable, really... Evidently, he didn't want tears to beat him either, so he just shook silently in sorrow, cuddled up to his remaining friend. Or all the things that Kuga could have expected to happen when creeping out that door, this was something he never saw coming. Despite such sad news however, Kuga thought having Midorikawa's human body, breathing, beating, and shifting next to his seemingly lifeless one was very nice. Selfish, was what Osamu would probably call it, Kuga still didn't quite understand what he ever meant by that. It was calm, peaceful, and sad. Midorikawa felt very warm pressed up against Kuga. That was another odd thing Kuga kind of missed, generating body heat. For some peculiar reason, Kuga got a feeling that this was a night to remember. No matter how much longer he lasted. He would remember Midorikawa softly cuddled up to him, the deep sky covered in jeweled stars that illuminated the world around them. He would remember the warmth, the shadows, the feeling of weightlessness in his chest. The brilliant light the planets sent slicing through thick, dark night in slivers of radiant neon. Dark and light, a balanced scene. Though most of all, Kuga would remember how close he felt to home.

Home. That had a very different meaning to everyone. Looking down at the A-rank agent in his arms, Kuga wondered briefly what his definition of "home" was. Taking a still moment to capture the scene, Kuga's head reeled looking for a word to describe it. Perfect? No, Joy? For Midorikawa, probably not. Then it came to him.

"Real life."

Midorikawa tilted his head over to rest on Kuga's shoulder as the last of his sadness passed. After another star-brought pause in reality, Midorikawa finally worked up the courage to ask something that he always had wondered. "What was it like?" Kuga didn't care anymore, and rested his head on Midorikawa's. "What was what like?"

"Traveling through the neighborhood! I wish I could do that someday. The planets are so beautiful, but with this Barrier technology, I guess that's impossible now. So tell me, what was it like?" Kuga couldn't help but give a large response.

"It's like nothing you've ever done before... Every planet is so different, so unique, defined, so limitless. Infinite ways to live, infinite places to. So many creatures, friendly, oh, and some not. Genius to brainless, big and small, with every variation of everything. Amazing sights, good food, fascinating history. Everything. You'd stay there until you learn it all, then you move to the next planet and be blown away all over again." Kuga sighed, really missing his old lifestyle. Midorikawa sweetly nuzzled his face into Kuga's neck and mumbled. "Why do you stay down here with us then?"

"Because this is the kindest planet I've ever seen. I'm not tired of you yet. Also, I have nowhere else to go." Kuga replied without hesitation. Sure, at first he had barely been conceived enough to stay by Osamu, but he was so glad he did. "With my dad gone, and Replica too, until Border can rebuild him, I thought I would be alone here. I'm not. I have you and Osamu, Chika, Jin, Usami, Konami, and so many others. But maybe I stay most of all, because Meeden feels like a home, something I've never truly had before." Midorikawa seemed to relax at that. By the motion of the ship, an icy blue planet swung into view, bathing the room in a new subtle bluish light. "I'm glad you're still here. With all of us." He whispered into Kuga's collarbone, his heart racing. Kuga nodded slightly, the feeling of his friend still filling his heart with an unknown warmness. Dismissing the peculiar feelings for the sake of maintaining the moment, he smiled. "Yeah, I am too."

Moments slipped into seconds, seconds passed to minutes. Minutes of laying there, warm and content as they both gazed in awe at the luminescent star-scape before them. Midorikawa was the first to pull away, reluctantly retracting his arms from the first person to make him feel hopeful in a week. Surely he wasn't that pathetic, right? He was Shun Midorikawa, a part of the A-rank number 4 squad, he shouldn't have to depend on others so much. "Maybe they do have a reason to look down on me..." Risking a glance at his neighbor friend, he looked hurt. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him now. He moved away to the opposite side of the couch. Blissfully letting the soft glow of the stars to empty his head. Ridding him of all his negativity and sorrows. "Would you mind explaining this to me? What you needed?" Midorikawa softly asked.

He wouldn't think about it, He wouldn't think about it, He wouldn't think about it, He wouldn't think about it.

"You're not, you know, actually cutting, are you?" his shaking resumed suddenly. The thought itself was enough to terrify the young boy. "I nearly cried over this just now, there is no way I'm going to start again now!" He scolded himself. The stars no longer helping very much.

He won't admit it, He won't admit it, He won't admit it, He won't admit it.

Kuga shuffled over to the other side of the couch, next to Midorikawa once again. "No, I promise I'm not. I've never even heard about it before. It sounds awful though, I wish I could help those people who do." He assured him, still taken aback that something could actually scare Midorikawa so much. "Then why?" he probed. "Why on earth would you ask me that?" Kuga recoiled at the anger in Midorikawa's tone. He looked miserable. Miserable and alone.

He won't know, He won't know, He won't know, He won't know.

Kuga shook his head, knowing that he would've been better off doing the test himself. Attempting to comfort his friend again, Kuga reached for Midorikawa's hand. The frozen-like planet tucked out of view, and only the outlines of everything were lit. "It's not anything like that." He whispered again. Shifting to be side by side once more, Kuga could hardly make out the tears that pooled up in Midorikawa's eyes. The ar n was replaced around Kuga, and the small child regretfully clung to his white haired friend once more. 'I would never do that, alright? I've got things to do, people to live for. Like you..." the same unexplained rush of adrenaline hit him and he gripped Midorikawa's hand a little tighter. "If you want to know, I will tell you though."

Midorikawa's breathing regulated overtime as Kuga explained himself. He buried his head into Kuga's shoulder once more as he began to understand. They lay in silence for a few minutes more. The stars still revealed the outline of the world around them. Midorikawa bit his lip.

He was fine, He was fine, He was fine, He was fine.

Kuga avoided going into great detail about tonight's sensations, just that they were odd, and he got worried. The young boy didn't seem to question it. Instead, they calmed themselves once more by marveling at the radiant sky, that unconditionally showcased some of the most vibrant hues and lights ever seen. "Hey Yuma?" Midorikawa asked as a violet planet changed the colors all around. "I know that you may not. Even understand this, but i wan- need to tell you something." he stuttered. Gosh, he felt dumb. He wasn't any good at this sort of thing. His face already started to burn. "Sure, anything!" "Um... Well, you really..." he face was so flushed with red at that moment, he was surprised Kuga didn't say anything. "Uh, what I guess I'm trying to say is, is that I really-"

"Well well! What have we here?"

The two boys jumped and whipped around to see the cocky man standing in the doorway. "Yoneya!" Midorikawa gasped, surprised. He leaned up against the doorway edge, arms folded, his hair a mess, cocking one eyebrow and smiling like a madman. "The one and only." he smirked. "Hey Midorikawa, it's about time that you came cle-" "YOYAN!" "hey hey, I know the feeling. Sorry to say, but I beat you to the punch buddy." beaming once more, Midorikawa quickly removed his arms from Kuga, as if he forgot they were there. "Aww, you two are adorable!" Yousuke grinned, trying to refrain from bursting out laughing. He walked over to the cabinet and grabbed two glasses. "You don't have to hide it, I know exactly what's going on here. Go on, I won't judge, I'm not in the position too." there was a small clank of the glasses as he set them down. "Don't let me get in the way..." Midorikawa stuttered. "But that's all you did! Get in our way!" Yousuke accidentally let a small giggle escape him. "Sorry, I'm sorry, It was just far too perfect!" "Why are you grabbing two?" Midorikawa asked, trying to distract himself from his embarrassment. Yosuke looked up from pouring water into the cups. "Oh, one is for Shuji, he just had a nightm-" he stopped there, thinking of his boyfriend waking up beside him in bed in a state of instability. Adorable as that was, he shouldn't say anything. "...uh... Nothing." he covered it up hurriedly. "Oh, really Yoyan?" Midorikawa inquired disbelievingly. "So do you-" "If you say it, I'll say it!" Yousuke growled playfully. Midorikawa fell silent. Kuga looked at the two boys in through confusion. "What is happening?" he whispered to himself. Midorikawa looked expectant. "Just tell me! Please?! Are you actually... You know.."

He glanced and nodded at the door which Yousuke had come from. Kuga raised his hand. "Um... What are you to even talking about?" Yosuke smiled and nodded. "Yes, we are." he sighed happily. "But don't you dare tell anyone else, alright? Shuji doesn't want anyone else to know yet, he gets timid like that..." With both full glasses in his hand, Yousuke stopped before his door. "One other thing Midorikawa..." Kuga almost flinched now. Yosuke's tone had dropped completely. "Please, take care of yourself, ok? Nobody was here to hurt you, and that should include you. You did your best, nobody can solve everything." Midorikawa cringed at this. "Yoyan, I di-" "Now don't you play dumb with me. Ok?" He popped his door open. "Goodnight you two." He bid as the door shut behind him with a charming click. Kuga slowly turned to Midorikawa. "What did he mean by that?" the young boy suddenly jumped. "Uhh... Mean by what?" he squeaked. "Midorikawa, you're a better fighter than a liar. Wait a minute..." An idea dawned on Kuga. It made sense. He prayed he was wrong. It was Kuga's turn to seize the other one's hand. Midorikawa was in his human form. "Yuma, what are you doing?!" his voice shot up in panic as he realized that Kuga knew. His words came out fast and messy. Kuga was almost positive now that something was wrong.

Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, Stop it, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Almost not wanting too, Kuga slid his two fingers below Midorikawa's sweater, and gradually pressed against his wrist. Midorikawa's sharp gasp, and flinch unwavering spoke the truth. He was not alright. Kuga didn't want to know, but had too. He vainly looked for another explanation, but there was none. "Midori- oh. Oh no, no no,no!" Kuga breathed. A pale Midorikawa shut his eyes and turned away as to not look under the sleeve that Kuga was pulling up. Kuga jaw dropped a small bit as he saw that the damage was done, and far worse than he thought possible. The jagged, red and ugly self wounds went up to his elbows. Midorikawa had utterly destroyed himself, covered it up, and moved on within a week. Even after a life at war, this sight was devastating, and disgusting. "Y-Yuma? I can expl-" Kuga abruptly cut him off by throwing his arms around him, and clutching him tight. Midorikawa seemed a lot smaller now. More helpless.

"Never do it ever again."

"B-but Yuma..." he felt numb. "No! Never again! I won't let you! Promise me... Please..." Kuga was outraged to the point of staying calm. Kuga shifted so Midorikawa could come fully into his arms, though the middle school student resisted it. He felt hot tears rise up, and threaten to spill over. He bit down on his lip, hard, drawing blood. "Yuma..." Midorikawa could hardly speak. His words caught up in his throat, and his words came out distorted and clumsy. All he could do was try to refrain from bursting into tears. Kuga was still at a loss of what to do, so he reached up, and guided Midorikawa's face into the crook of his neck. Midorikawa's unsteady breathes brushed up his neck, making this somehow even more saddening. "I hope you know that I won't ever think any less or you for crying, alright?" Kuga murmured aghast. His own voice seemed strange now.

Midorikawa felt tons of force press down on him, and break. What kind of feeling was this? Kuga began to rely on his instincts rather than reason, and began quietly rubbing circles in the young boys back. "Please, cry if you need too, it will be worse if you don't." Kuga begged, he had seen the effects of not releasing this kind of pain, it happened all the time in war. Seeing where they were now, Midorikawa had obviously seen too. "Cry for the both of us..." Kuga offered after his last words were met with a continuous silence. "If I could cry, I would..." he mumbled. Unable to contain it for a moment longer, at long last, Midorikawa burst open into a flood of tears and sobs. he clung onto Kuga for all sanity. It became clear very quickly that Midorikawa had dived head first into depression. The warm water dripped slowly onto Kuga's shoulders at a consistent rate. Midorikawa shook and cried pitifully as he released all his pent up sorrow and despair. His grip around Kuga was desperate, and at the same time, piteous and weak. The feelings of stone cold failure filled him. "Woah there!" Kuga flustered, as his hands shot up, and placed them on the back of Midorikawa's head, and shoulder. Kuga was still at a loss for the situation, needing to help, though not knowing how to. With his friend crying on his shoulder, after horrendous actions of self harm, the neighbor finally took note of how much he had changed scene moving to Meeden. He had experienced friendship, teamwork, dependency, self sacrifice, and a new sort of kindness. Midorikawa gasped, and wrenched again, as if he were attempting to speak, yet couldn't. Eventually, he managed to gasp out words in between large amounts of tears. "I-I'm sorry" he choked out lamely. And suddenly, Kyga was confused all over again. "Sorry about what?" he inquired. His pride of learning Meeden culture quickly vanished.

"Everything..."

Through pitiful and ragged breaths, Midorikawa tried to calm himself, but the tears wouldn't stop. He had clearly hit rock bottom. "No, please, don't say that. I don't know what you mean." Kuga whispered gently. "But you don't have to apologize for anything, ok?" Midorikawa went stiff. Tears continued to pour down his cheeks, he didn't know what to say to that. So he remained there in Kuga's arms. Inwardly, the neighbor begged for a response of any kind, anything, but none came. "Crap! Idiot! What do I do? Shoot, how am I supposed to know, oh god, think! What would Osamu do?" Kuga hurriedly wracked his brain for a response of any kind, something, anything to get Midorikawa to come clean, admit to anything. What the hell was happening to Midorikawa? Kuga didn't think anything could get the enthusiastic agent down, evidently, he was wrong. As the seemingly relentless tears eased up a tad, to inaudible cries, and the occasional quiver, Kuga asked. "It was my friend..." he sniffled. "Junior high was really hard for him and he-" he cracked again. "Hey! Hey, it's alright. You're alright..." Kuga tried to comfort him, he felt like he wasn't being very helpful. "He never told anyone about his depression, there was nobody to tell it everyone h-hated him. Only I knew and-" Kuga felt really bad on behalf of the tearful little ball in arms. And he didn't know why. Kuga wondered how long Midorikawa really good like this. "It came without warning and, and..." he gasped, and clutched on as hard as he could, which amounted to a small and pathetic grip. Another pitiful bout of tears claimed him. Unable to come with a good response, Kuga quietly just whispered the other boy's name. It was another or so of ragged breaths and sobs before he could continue. "There must've been a way to save him... If only I had known." there was another sad whimper. "Damn it..." Midorikawa softly cursed. "What? No no no," Kuga shook head disbelievingly. "You can't possibly blame yourself for this!" he flustered, as a distant meteor streaked across the sky. "Stop that. Right now..." he pleaded. "How can I? I was his only friend. I was the only one who could've done anything! And I couldn't." his voice was rising quickly. "So now I've begun hate myself, and I'm headed the same way!" Midorikawa tried to pull away, but Kuga wouldn't let him. "Stop it Midorikawa! That is most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Kuga snapped. "None of this is your fault, and you better believe it!" Midorikawa choked for air, "I was so scared, and alone. There was nobody to tell it to, I'VE KILLED MY FRIEND!" The uncontrolled sobbing resumed. "The kids in my school laughed at his death, They were the reason he died! They just brushed it off, they didn't care that he... He-" He whimpered. Kuga really hated to see this, Midorikawa had hit absolute rock bottom. Kuga leaned backwards on the couch, allowing the miserable boy rest atop him. "Don't say that! You're never alone! And I'm here to help you whenever." "And I'll kill anyone who says otherwise." he muttered under his breath. Midorikawa blushed. He was on top of Kuga. "Kuga probably just doesn't understand what this means to humans..." He told himself, not believing it was all it was chalked up to be. It was a little reassuring, having Kuga care for him, just a little. "Now, I can't say anything about your classmates, but everyone here really loves you." Midorikawa wanted to believe that. "Really, Izumi and Yoneya care about you so much, Tachikawa likes you, the Kazama squad have a lot of respect on your part, Osamu really looks up to you, Jin is constantly bragging about you," he reminded him. The jaded light from the starlight window flitted through as Kuga began to run his fingers through Midorikawa's hair. "I care about you too." he admitted. "I care about you a lot." "I swear I'm going to find whoever doesn't, and eradicate them all." "So please!" Kuga begged. "Promise me that you'll stop all of this. Your friend must have been very, er... Determined to- well, you know..." his life at war had taught him to avoid explicitly stating 'death'. "You probably couldn't have stopped him no matter what you did." Midorikawa had never considered that. "Just promise me that you'll stop. Now..." he pleaded again.

...

"... Alright ..."

Midorikawa agreed quietly. "Really?" Midorikawa's voice didn't exactly drip with resolve. "No, you're right... I just wanted to be sad." he sniffed, arms still wrapped around the other. "Hey, you were depressed, After something like that, it's reasonable." Kuga smiled. Eventually, the small streams of tears became nothing more than a track down Midorikawa's flushed cheeks. The young boy still shook and trembled in Kuga's arms, but the crying ceased. After the washed light of space filtered through the window for a few more still moments, everything was alright again. Kuga slowly reached his hand out, and after a suppressed hesitate, pressed it gently to Midorikawa's chest. His heart was beating alarmingly fast and strongly. It thudded in a quick rhythm beneath his hoodie. "Gosh," Kuga frowned in confusion as he felt the swift pulse. "You and Osamu get so worked up about helping other people... Even when you're really the one in need. Kind of a bad habit when you think about it." Midorikawa bowed his head. "Aw, just look at yourself!" the younger boy blushed lightly. "I know, I'm sorry."he whispered. "No, don't be sorry. None of this was your fault, and you shouldn't have to feel responsible. Just, please, the next time something like this happens, just tell me, ok?"

They were home again.

Two very different homes, different places they belonged, they were different people, after all. Midorikawa finally believed in his friend, and wished the best for his other, gone, maybe he'll have a good rest of his life in heaven. Or, wherever he went. Midorikawa didn't mind, his world was slowly fading around him anyway, and he fell asleep.

It took a moment to notice what had happened, as he had continued to stroke Midorikawa's hair. After time had passed, he did notice the steady breaths. Kuga smiled. "We don't have to worry about anything." he murmured. "And I don't either now." Somewhere along the line he had figured out what the sensations were. They were anything but what he had expected. 'Love' was Meeden's term for it. Quickly confirming that Midorikawa was indeed asleep, Kuga softly kissed the top of the boy's head. That was a first. Afterwards, he might be ashamed of himself for that, but in the moment, he didn't really care. It was quick anyway, and rather sweet. After a moment or two Kuga remembered that Midorikawa might get cold out here, not that he could feel it. Taking hold of Midorikawa bridal style, he carried him back into their room. Hoping that this time, the squeak of the door didn't wake anyone else, he carefully lay Midorikawa down on the bed. It was a strange feeling of embarrassment and care. Osamu had referred to it as "Starstruck", when you idolise someone to such a degree. He pulled covers up around him, and blushed a little himself, as trion rushed up to his face. He climbed back into bed, and didn't feel nearly a restless. Suddenly, he had remembered what sleep had felt like. He was almost home, and his mind began to wander. He couldn't get that kiss out of his head. But he shouldn't feel embarrassed about that, right? Besides, Midorikawa hadn't felt it, right? Kuga didn't think so, but Midorikawa had.

...

Thank you again for your incredible patience, it means alot. I know I'm not the best, but I hope you enjoy. (I'm actually really bad)


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